random chick-artist venting .

ive been pretty stressed out lately.

im trying to get a hold of which direction i want take my artwork. some significant people have told me to make “pretty” or “happy” things ( my artwork has looked fairly moody these days, specifically.) its really irritating, and its stressful. i have plans for next year, and im doing quite well so far, but the question of how i will survive comes in to play. its no secret the economy is going down the shitter.. i know. people are spending less, people will buy less paintings.. i know. im quite aware. all of my projects and checks are slow and in limbo.. times are crazy. im trying to find ground to stand on. in the mean time im trying to make art that even i can appreciate. i think im a low brow - pop surrealist..  which im fairly happy with but its weird to create art that i know my family and my friends will not get or like.  my friend is worried that i will die unappreciated.. and years after ive been buried is when i will gain recognition. “no ones gonna wanna hang that in their living room,” my friend said about my nightmare peice. he tells me to make things for the masses. what the hell do you want me to do? i could give people what they want, i can give them flowers and koi fish and hot chicks and anything japanese-y… plaid skirted school girls masterbating to saturday morning cartoons.. its not fulfilling for me as an artist. i look back at the past years… when i entered my sophomore year of college, my painting teacher warned us that about 2% who graduate art school (under fine art illustration) will make a living on their artwork alone. after i graduated otis and i started painting, i said to myself.. fuck, im a fine artist! i majored in poor! …. crap. but ive done fairly well. the economy took my job away from disney childrens place, but i have more projects coming up that im excited about. during the past year, i have built an awesome resume. its just nerve wracking in the meantime. all i do is paint.. up to 12 hours a day sometimes, 7 days a week… and its still not enough. im just trying to be strong, and perhaps i will try to pick up another job since my commercial work is slow right now. people have compared me to robert williams.. which is a pretty big to me since hes super crazy … and i look at liz mcgrath… most people wouldnt hang her stuff in their living rooms, but i dig it. it reminds me that anything is possible.

just trying to find ground i guess

and today for your viewing pleasure, me and edwin ushiro holding hands and  stuffed sushi.

i am a big fan of edwin… his art is stunning… and hes funny to boot.