throwback .

it was a throwback on top of a throwback, a weird yet warm and fuzzy and ironic experience, shared between myself, my cd, and memory lane.

i was sitting in the left turn lane waiting for the light to change when i noticed the song playing. the mixed cd was fresh in my car and i havent listened to this song in the front seat in a very long time. 'fly me to the moon' by julie london, it takes me back to a rich and nostalgic time when i wasnt born yet.  there was this one time, however, where i told someone to meet me at a 24hr winchell's doughnut shop at the shy 3am. somehow we ended up slow dancing in the middle of the street as the sunrised, which was picture perfect in my very expensive strapless i wore from the night before.

suddenly my attention turned to my rearview mirror, the boy in the driver's seat repeatedly smothered his girlfriend's face with his, his eyes darting back to the light making sure it wasnt signaling without him. i sighed as i intruded on their casual yet romantic moment. it got me thinking, was love more pure when we were younger, or just more intense? because before it is interrupted, before we grew thicker skin, after learning our lessons and hating our past significant others, before making practical decisions, there was long, late night phone conversations, genuine handholding, ridiculous note passing. perhaps when we are older we find more creative things to do, and to do without. in my mind, sneaking in the most kisses you possibly can before the light turns green is more romantic than my slow dance at dawn, because one of those kisses was more genuine that my entire night with that person. perhaps i am too embarrassed to see that guy again, more or less it just makes a lovely facade that would go well with the story beginning with 'how i met your father...' instead it was, well, there was this one time, and, i never saw him again.