Blackmail or a cheap comedy show?

I have to write this one up.

I just had one of the most fucked up run in with a local Taiwanese gangster but funny story I suppose. 

I went to my aunt's place and parked on the street.  When I came back down, I got in the car and drove off.  10 minutes later I was looking for my phone and I was like where is it.  I stopped at a video rental store and asked to use their phone.  I dial my number and some dude answers and immediately says you're calling for your phone huh.  I was like yeah and I suppose you are the two guys that I saw on the scooter as I was getting in to my car.  They said yup.  I tell them to bring my phone back and that I'm at the video store.  They tell me it depends on how bad I want the phone.  Alright, I want it.  We want money.  It's raining and we're riding in the rain.  I tell them to come by.  So, I wait for 1 minute and I see them ride by as they look at me.  Meanwhile, the video rental employee comes out and says I've called the police already.  The employee says you shouldn't pay them that's blackmail.  I was like yeah.  So I go in to call them again and no answer.  I leave the phone on the side and let it ringI walk outside to see them crossing the street walking towards me.  We meet right at the intersection in front of everyone and he says, your phone is worth a lot of money.  I just checked with someone.  How do you know it's your

phone as it's ringing.  Uhhh,,,I just called you and that is me on the line dialing.  So how are you out here he askes.  I didn't hang up so that's why it's ringing.  Oh.  Where are you from.  I say not from around here.  He says, oh that's why the phone is in.....English as I complete his sentence.  How bad do you want it, were from "Bamboo"  I said and Oh I want it except you have a problem.  They say to me, you know bamboo.  Yeah I know bamboo and my phone is locked so no ones gonna buy it. 

(By the way if you are wondering right now as to what phone I have. It's a blackberry curve. FUCK YEAH, I want it.)

The other guys crosses the street and says yeah I saw it drop of out your pocket as you were getting in your car.  I said yeah I saw you two also.  So how bad do you want your phone he asks.  Depends on what you want I say.  The first guy I was talking to blurts out we want 1500 NT

(new taiwan dollars about 32 nt to 1 USD = USD $ 46.00.)

I say I only have 1000 NT.  The second dude says we have two people.  I say well, 1500 for two I don't have but 1000 and 500 each is more like it.  They look at each other with huge smiles and gives me back my phone and then they pat me on the back and want to shake my hand......err.... YEAH...What the FUCK.......... and that's not it.  Then one guy offers me a cig and the other dude pulls out a bag of beetle nut. I said thanks but I don't chew or smoke.  They ask maybe we can be FRIENDS.....LOLOLOLOL...... WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON........LOLOLOL.............Dumb and Dumber.   maybe not.  I did pay them. 

OH yeah.........I saw them so happy when they offered cigs and beetle nut.  I was about to see if maybe they'll take a picure with me......and maybe they'll make it on "worlds dummest robberies".  Anyways, I said thanks and they crossed the street to their scooter.  The video store employee saw and heard the entire thing and had a look of WTF on her face too.....IT WAS SO FUNNY........and then she says.  They only got 1000 NT from you and they are gangsters?  I replied yes and that's why they will never become a Boss. 

Local gangsters.......sandals, shorts and a dirty t-shirt cause it had beetle nut stains from the       

                                 beetle nut juice that is dripping out of their red stained mouths and fucked

                                up teeth.  If you've seen them then you know what I'm talking about.