arrested development

 Just had a photoshoot gig for Kaiser this past weekend, nice and painless. Had a good catered lunch, did the photoshoot, was back in time for the superbowl. I think people take it for granted how easy gigs are here in the states given how good the conditions are and how well people take care of actors here. So in a way it's a blessing to work here.   Development on the film I'm writing: almost got arrested. Went to location scout today and do some photoboards with my D.P.(director of photography) Adrian, one of James Shih's close friends who is a photographer. So I drove my car on a hiking trail. And I waited there for Adrian, b/c in my film, a car is parked alongside the landscape. So i wanted to get that in the photoboards. Not long after I got there waiting for Adrian, people came to get me. Told me i was in big trouble, asked for license/registration. For some reason i didnt even have my registration. I told him the situation and explained I just came back in the country. He went in his car for about 1/2 hour and then came back saying if they ever find me around here causing trouble, I'm a goner and will be in some big trouble. BUT during our conversation I found out only way a vehicle can go on there is if you had a handicap parking permit. So for our sake, I think Rong is gonna get us one for the film somehow and use that. I felt pretty nervous waiting in the car, but I knew pleading ignorance would get me out of this jam, it was a very close call and I aint risking that again. But the photoboards we got for it was amazing... that's all I can say, simply amazing... so in a way it was damn well worth it. This will set a big tone for our film b/c this location is the beginning and ending of the film, so having the beautiful landscape is very vital for this upcoming film.     Writing it has been an arduous process and very slow, got about 10 pages for this film, and taken about a month. Keep rewriting and editing it, but I think it'll be ok. It's a good process for me to keep learning how to write better... So here's the proces: i write, next day I wrote, then i think it's horrible, so i rewrite. This process keeps going and i think truly I'll never be happy, but there'll be a state i'm content with it, or simply tired from rewriting. I've read before a lot of famous writers work like that, write/rewrite till they're exhausted and can't stand to look at their work anymore, so they stop and that's their final draft.Went to KTSF today for 2nd and final round for their "new business show MC". First round had 80 participants, 2nd round was today and they had 12 contestants. We'll see how that all works out. There's been times when the uncertainty of my career gives you doubts, and one day you think it'll break all the confidence and strength you have. I haven't quite given in yet but I do get a sense what is it like for people like me to finally quit one day and say "fu** it" and get a job. A lot of people who are more in the industry become producers and other full time paying people in the industry, but never really having their dreams realized. Maybe that'll be me one day, but who knows. For now, i figure i'm still young and gonna keep believe in myself and not gonna quit. ANd keep making film and becoming good at it. and improving... it's a lot like DJAY said in hustle and flow" i'm trying to make a dolla outta 15 cents and I aint got a dime". that's a good attitude, and it forces someone to solve all your problems non-monetarily. And you gotta get what you want without having money to solve the problem. And often a lot of inspiration comes out of it. So i'm hoping to up and staying positive and keep at it... I see the journey as long, but I don't think it's over yet, i still got a lot to prove and a lot to show the world... and i hope my time will come...