a producer saved my life

I didn't mean to, but last night, while driving, I got on the phone with a producer friend of mine whom I have the utmost respect in the world for.  My friend is a very accomplished individual with a heart of gold.  With her crazy schedule, she always still finds time to give advice to those who ask and, trust me, I have found myself asking her for much advice in the past.This week, my friend wrote a very important letter to the Producer's Guild of America that has started to generate what I think is a healthy dialogue that has long needed to be discussed.  Check it out:   AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PGA.  While the PGA's response doesn't exactly rectify the situation, the acknowledgment, and lip-service to examine the situation at least is a start.Somehow, we started talking about the topic of producing in general and, basically, by the end of our conversation, she had talked me down from the proverbial ledge.  That is so KC - putting out letters to help American producers who do foreign language films and then talking to this still-aspiring producer back to sanity.I have had one of the most challenging experiences of my life this year - and yet, most rewarding.  I agreed to executive produce and act in a film this year that somehow turned into me becoming the lead producer.  For those who don't know, in film, an exec producer (EP) is someone who sits at a very high level on the project.  He/she finds funding for the project, maybe has some say on hiring/casting, providing basic foundational resources like locations or sponsors, and perhaps down the road helps with some festival and distribution stuff as well.  Usually, it's just the first thing - providing money.Without getting into specifics, somehow as the project went along, I found myself becoming the main producer.  By definition, a film's "producer" (not EP) is such:I've functioned in this capacity on some short films before, and I've long thought about doing this on features, but for the most part, with our small shingle 408 Films, I've served only as an EP helping to shepherd a project with financing and some festival and/or distribution strategy.  I guess I saw myself as a higher level kind of person who connected people and things, but stayed out of the way when it came to day to day stuff. Well, like it or not, here came my first feature where I would throw on the producer cap in addition to the EP cap.  Not what was intended on this particular piece, but WTH, right?  Life throws you lemons, you make wine from it.  Whatever the saying is.In discussing what had happened here with my friend on the phone, I found myself barfing out several thoughts and asking several questions - all of which she thoughtfully answered in ways that made me feel infinitely better about what I have been going through.  It's not just me who goes through these things!!!  It's always good to hear other's experience and perspective and to know that you're not alone.Everything she said rang so true in my mind...- Post-Production (where we are now) is the part of a film.  You think physical production is, but it's a piece of cake in comparison.  It's physically the most taxing for sure, but during this period, you have everyone around you and there is a sense of  camaraderie, as if you are going to war together.  We definitely had that.  In pre-production, there is the anticipation and everyone involved at that point is excited and chomping at the bit and really doing their share of the lifting.  In post, as the producer, you are left by yourself.  Often, it's just you and the filmmaker.  Everyone else has gone home and is onto their next thing and just waiting for the email one day to announce a screening.  It's up to you to pull everything together at this point.  It's an isolating experience, but it's here where the wheat is separated from the chaff as far as who is a good producer and who may not be.- Going into a film is like an arranged marriage.  You are often thrust into a position with a team of people you don't know.  You might be brought in by one source you do know, but there is a host of others you've never met and, like the poor woman whose parents just force her to marry the man so not of her dreams, you have no choice at that time but to roll with it, hoping for the best.  Sometimes, it works out great.  Other times, it doesn't.  My friend shared a story of a 60-year old accomplished producer who is still scarred from his most recent project after having worked with people he didn't know beforehand.  This sort of surprised me because I'd been thinking that the further along you get in your career as a producer/director/whatever, the more you know who you want to work with and the more you will surround yourself with old hands you trust with your life.  Why would Wong-Kar Wai always have Christopher Doyle as his cinematographer?  Why do certain producer-director tandems work together time and again?  You find people you mesh well with, and you stick with them.  Simple as that.  It's like any relationship in life.  Branching out with new folks is risky.  Sometimes you find gems and will want to always work with them again.  Sometimes you find people you will never want to work with ever again.  No one ever said all arranged marriages are bad, I guess, but I'll be damned if they are all good.- No matter what, as a producer, you have to keep your eye on the prize.  Keep your vision for the film and keep your passion to deliver it.  So long as you still believe in it, of course.  All the muck that happens along the way, it's part of the process.  All producers go through it, and all producers will have their moments of doubt or weakness.  It's perfectly normal.  It's what makes us human.  Keep your nose to the ground, make your deliverables, be responsible to your fiduciary duties, and put the best film you can out there.  You gotta have faith.  I'm sure Serge and Larry had their doubts about certain things as they built a little company called Google.It was a bit of a wake up call I happened into last night.  A check-point, if you will.  I truly appreciated the discussion.  And, as I mentioned earlier in this post, despite a set of challenges so high, this year has been rewarding in a very unsuspecting way:  don't tell my acting agents/managers, but I am so very eager to move forward with a producer's cap on in life that it almost hurts.  Literally.  I feel a yearning to continue to be a producer because I feel that I'm suited for it.  I want more projects and I want to keep learning.  Most importantly, I want to do it with like-minded people who share the same vision and passion as me.