humdinger

I am homesick. 

There, I said it.

But hey, if I wasn't, I wouldn't be human right?  It's all part of life.  You take the good with the bad.  Laugh, cry, happy, sad.  I've been on the road for just about a month now and today I found myself making my way back to Beijing, where I started this crazy adventure weeks ago.  In fact, I checked into the exact same spot I stayed when I first got to China.  I was supposed to be in Taiwan this week, but that will have to wait.  As does Singapore.

So, I decided to take the part in the play in Beijing. After several days of back and forth, uncertainty,  and confusion, here I am back in Beijing about to start rehearsals tomorrow.  I'm still second guessing myself, but I keep reminding myself that this is what I came out here for.  I made a pact with myself to come to Asia to look into the acting world out here and so now that I got this offer, why would I shy away from it?  Isn't this the ultimate way to immerse myself into an acting project out here and to improve my language skills?

I love live theatre, but I wasn't figuring I'd be working on stage out here.  You can't cheat the language with theatre.  It's in the moment.  I've done stage work in the States in Mandarin before and I thought, well, I could do it again.  The only thing I wasn't prepared for was staying in Asia for the extra couple months as I have things back in New York to take care of.  I didn't even really pack any warm clothes since I thought I'd be back before fall really set in.

What I'm most concerned with however, is the language.  As I look over the scrīpt each time, I keep wondering what I've gotten myself into.  It's a LOT of dialogue.  I can't read Chinese so I need everything put into pin ying so I can set it straight - and then to add the layer of acting upon that....it's nuts.  I think it's "easier" to do it in film where you are allowed cuts and passages are shorter, so I'll honestly probably be feeling this fear for awhile yet.  What adds to the fear is that the director wants me off book in 1 week!  Um...I truly don't know if that's going to be possible.

While I constantly wonder if I can do this, today, while I was on the airplane, I read a quote that NBA player Jermaine O'Neal, of all people, said that inspired me to give it a go: "People who want it to be easy are people who haven't succeeded in life."

I'm still homesick.  I want to sleep in my own bed.  The last 10 days in Hong Kong were nice as there was at least a little consistency with not having to move around every few days to a different place to sleep, but here I am in Beijing again because I've never picked the easy way.  Ever.