growing up..... transforming

Oh well..... time to grow up and finally be responsible to MY life....and stop waiting for Price Charming to come and resucre me....

SO....what happened is..... i bought myself a ring!!!! a ring with lots of 福 (blessing) engraved on the side....  a ring that i've always wanted, a ring to remind myself the love i have for myself, and from my friends and family. a ring to tell me it's ok because i LOVE myself ... so even thouhg i'm not always right , people come and go..... i'd always have me , myself and I :P

also went to assist at the New Life Phychiatric Rehabilitation assocation for a dance class for teh clients there.... man i love teaching and i'm GOOD at teaching :P they taught me soooo much there. they were honest, and blessed in their own way and most of all.... they helped me to see what can i offer to the sociality and enjoy dancing again. to share love and recieve their love there was important for me too...

i think i can hearing the calling for me to study either drama or dance theapry stronger and stronger which day... i'm sooooooo moved that even though thru these dark period of my life, i've a lot of friends being around for me and i'm even more moved to find that they would alll trust me enough to share their own problems and issues with me.... how do i deserve them? i've been just upset and retreat lately and yet, i was soooo glad that i can still touch people's hearts.... that is a blessing , a gift from God and i believe i have a mission to do something with it. it's probably tooo late for me to go to med school to heal people's wounds now ( plus my hands are way  to shaky) but it's not too late for me to study and be able to heal people's hearts. the more people i meet , the more i realize, we are not really happy in this city. and also look at the kids from the earthquake, they need someone to help them with  their wounds in their hearts too!!!

it can be lonely at times when you are growing up, but i'm learning , i'm coping, to all my friends , worry not i'll be fine ....i'm also learning to love myself and so i'm not gonna rush myself to do anything... all i need is some time.... and courage... and i'll be fine :> i'm very very thankful to have you all besides me, and a job that i love and believe in.... man it's a very powerful thing to be outthere singing 'when you wish upon a star 'and seeing how the audience were sucked in the scene and forgetting their own problems for that one moment. and i'm sooooooooo thankful to have the gift to experience that.

it's about time that i really be responsible to my OWN LIFE, and stop blaming others and hoping for others to save me..... i've the mean , the talent and the ability to do what i want.  and i gotta live myself for myself now... no one knows what's gonna happen tomorrow but for now... live goes on, just like the show MUST go on.  growing up can be lonely , but i guess it's part of the course and i'm learning to enjoy my 'me' time with the little scared vulneable Candy in me. and so far i'm doing OK.

i'm so glad and thankful that thru out these period, i've found out a lot more about myself.... things that i throught i'd like and kinda dreamed about are not what i want..... thing that i wasn't sure turns out to be  the most important thing for me.... it's good to be in touch with who i am again....

Once again, thank you, thank you for your love, trust , patience, caring.... Candy is gonna be fine and come back as a WAY BETTER STRONGER person :>

love you all

canz X