"Ode to Poop"

I just took a fat dump. No need to worry; I won't be documenting all my shits with religious fervor anytime soon. Today is just special case since it got me thinking. Taking a crap is actually rather beautiful. Now I'm not advocating scatplay and the like, so hear me out. That shit is gross.  Anyway, poo is one of the few universal things that bind us as human beings together. We all eat, and we all shit. It crosses language barriers, and brings people together. The relief that we can all relate to is great, because it is so much more easier to attain a satisfying dump in comparison to, I dunno, sex or that toy you always wanted as a kid but your mom wouldn't get for you. Hell, even babies understand the beauty of poo. They cry and then shit and stop crying for a bit until the next load.

Now, if a stranger came to my door with quivering hands under his ass, I'd let him in. And in his post-relief, he'd thank me for understanding, and we would be friends for life - poo pals. My toilet is your toilet, vice versa. We'd connect cause we'd see the truth in shitting; thenafter he'd sit down as I get him a beverage, and we'd nostalgically bring up all the poo jokes we knew as kids. Shit brings joy; shit brings liberation.

Also, if it wasn't for the feces, many people would be out of the job, ie toilet makers, toilet paper makers, toilet cleaner makers, plunger makers, the Mario Brothers, and all the other people that insure that our turd travels safety into our drinking water. Without this bodily function of ours, the implications would be world shattering. I mean, we'd die, but some of us would die unemployed and without legacy.

That's where I stand with this load of crap. I thank you Poo.

And remember, the next time you want to shit on your fellow man, think of this: When I poo, does my shit not smell?