present: a common day's inner monologue set at late evening before i give in to troubled sleep.

day by day i am constantly reminded how fragile my state is.

mornings are good to me. there's just something about that soft, warm morning sun that revives my damaged morale.

but by nightfall the same reality hits me deep.

it won't ever feel the same again. being home. being comfortable. being purely and simply happy.. when it was just my family and i. in this whole expansive universe that surrounds us, i once was happy in my little bubble.

why did you take it away??

yes i know why. i know every single heartbreaking why. but i can't help but ask every now and then. i know i must be mature now. realistic.

i don't wish for the past anymore.

but that doesn't mean i don't miss you.

i miss you terribly.