IAMAMIWHOAMI aka Christina Aguilera X Switch X Alix Malka?

Have you ever wondered lately what happened to Christina Aguilera aka Genie In A Bottle aka Xtina?! If you haven’t, then close this tab now. If you have, keep on reading. My feelings about this are slightly mixed. First of all, let me get rid of my only negative comment about her new, oh so mysterious project: I find it a bit audacious to help oneself digging so deep in the same pot that The Knife’s better half, Karin Dreijer Andersson aka Fever Ray cooked up a while ago (I wonder if she’s mad about it). Yet, I ain’t mad. I ain’t mad at all! Quite frankly, this whole thing gets me almost as excited as the young, male barely-post-teenager jacking off to the MV of Genie In A Bottle a decade ago. I stumbled upon this today:

I can’t stop watching it. The production is quite unfuckwithable (word on the streets is it might be laced by your favorite producer’s favorite producer Dave Taylor aka Switch aka Solid Groove aka 1/2 Major Lazer), the visual work is effing amazing (apparently, rumors in Israeli newspapers state that they might’ve hired Parisian fashion photographer extraordinaire Alix Malka for the job), Xtina’s vocal abilities have always been outstanding- so what else is left to hate on?! Ya, ok, maybe the slight corniness of jumping on the Fever Ray bandwagon. But you know what? My 2 cents: let it be forgiven.

Btw, other rumors state, that Aguilera has been working with the likes of Diplo, Santigold, Ladytron, Le Tigre, Linda Perry and Goldfrapp in the recent past. Interesting.

Major props to the mastermind behind this annoyingly addictive, extremely zeitgeisty viral campaign. You’re doing a good fucking job.

I love it how sheep out there are being s0 fooled and confused. Bitch please, you have GOT to be a complete moron if you don’t realize by now that the main mascot behind all this is actually Christina Aguilera. Reading the youtube comments and all the other wild speculations across the internetz is pure comedy to me. This leaked URL says it all: http://stuff.sonybmg.de/Image/ChristinaAguilera/PromoAlbum.jpg. Use your brain.

via IAMAMIWHOAMI on Bigstereo earlier today:

-”This is 100% Christina Aguilera. Why are people still playing guessing games? Don’t let that fisheye lens fuck with your eyes. Compare the bottom teeth in the above video with “Beautiful”. You don’t need to be an orthodontist to recognize those crooked ass teeth. Plus, the production on 13.1.14.4.18.1.7.15.18.1.1110 sounds like it could be Switch who we know Aguilera was working with…”

via CHRISTINA AGUILERA? on Bigstereo 2 weeks ago:

-”So these videos have been popping up and people have been claiming that it’s promo for Goldfrapp but considering that her new album seems to be going in a completely colorful and less nature and more 80’s aesthetic I would say probably not. Then rumors of Gaga maybe, to which probably not because she just released more tracks for the Fame Monster. So we have Christina Aguilera left and anyone else thats a blond, I think I’ll go with the first choice for fun.”

via Is the ‘Dirrty’ Girl Truly the One Under All that Mud? on Ohnotheydidnt 2 weeks ago:

-”If you add up all of the numbers before a decimal and attach a letter to its corresponding number (A=1, B=2, C=3, etc.) you’ll notice that each video has a distinct message:

Prelude 699130082.451322 = (38.17) = (CH.AG) = CH. AG.

9.1.13.669321018 = I. A. M. CH.

9.20.19.13.5.723378 = I.T.S.M.E.C.”

via Who?What?Gaga?Goldfrapp?Aguilera? on Dazeddigital.com 2 weeks ago:

-”Because really, if there is something like a collective memory, what these sorts of things prove is that our communal external hard drive is full to capacity. We’ve stopped gathering knowledge and started defragmenting data instead. Because knowing whether it’s Aguillera or Gaga really doesn’t matter when the actual question is why? And if the ‘why’ is simply to get people to associate subversion and excitement with a CD then maybe we’re kind of fucked as a civilization. Probably. Perhaps.”

I feel a bit “ Dirrty” now for being a victim of this viral campaign marketing plan, and for being so fascinated, and for wasting so much of my precious time and attention playing Sherlock Holmes, and for writing this long-ass blog post….. But I have to admit: I am feeling this shit 100%, because it is fucking brilliant. 8.1.20.5.13.5.14.15.23.