How did this inauguration become my porn?

I've watched him get sworn in like how many times already? And I'll probably watch today's footage again and again. Looking for a new camera angle I had not noticed. A new glint in his smile... A hot new dance position he takes with his wife...

I'm searching for clips online, recovering the moments I've missed, and drinking them in like a hungry unsatiable American beast. Mentally reliving an event I wasn't at in person, as if I was there... imagining myself as one of the characters in the story. And I've seen it enough that I actually believe I was there. I am.

Is this healthy? Does it matter if today was just the fantasy celebration before the tedious reality of rebuilding our nation? I just want to inject myself into this narrative of this day as if it was my every day reality. Even if the smiles, the gestures, and the greetings and goodbyes have been fabricated for the media.

I just came back from a night time celebration in Downtown Anchorage where I watched his inaugural speech again. I know how it ends-- he swears in and becomes the President... it's just the ride was soooo good.... and I can't help but play it back over and over again.

But unlike porn, I am not getting desensitized to it. (Not that I have ever seen porn before.)

Though, I do think I had an orgasm when he did the shaka brah to the Punahoa Marching Band.

Sure, I have my criticisms about today. Rick Warren and his hypocritical invocation about loving and accepting everyone (except gay people... right?). The endless marching bands (we couldn't throw in one gay pride float?). I was a little confused about why he wasn't introduced as "Barack Hussein Obama" and instead as "Barack H. Obama" when he made his entrance (he did make it up in the swearing in and quite smoothly). His speech lacked the quotable "hooks" of his campaign speeches. And why couldn't they have just pushed Dick Cheney down the stairs in that... WHEELCHAIR?!

But I'd repeat today again and again. That feeling of instinctively thrusting my fist into the air and screaming when he was sworn in. Going outside of the University of Anchorage Auditorium and the sun was still not up and yet, we had all seen the light. Looking at the White House site for the first time and really absorbing that no, it's not a joke. It's not a hoax. This is really it. We really did this. We don't just have a black president, we have President Barack Hussein Obama. We have First Lady, Michelle Obama.

I've been pleasantly surprised with Anchorage. And so pleased to celebrate this day here. It is not the beacon of Republican dumb sauce. The pockets of blue are remarkable. AND..... Whoa of whoa! There are so many black people here! And Native! And Asian! Or maybe the Asians are actually Native.... this is kind of confusing and I must figure out a way the jokes in my show can work with this "Asian look-alike" dynamic. I was happy to stand among them and know that we had come together to witness each others awe of this crazy long awaited moment.

There are things so logical about this moment. That are country is being represented for once by someone who is both qualified and whose own life story reflects the actual experience and dreams of so many Americans. That our president and his first wife actually came from working class roots and immigrant dreams. That this is the America we've been waiting for.

This should have happened so many years ago. And yet it still surprises us. This moment where we gathered in public places, we came together as Americans, and we looked around at each other, all of us different in our histories that brought us here to this moment, and today we saw each other.