I was violated.

This was a blog entry that I meant to post over the weekend. But here's my story about last Friday night.AURGHH!!!!!!

Was it Ghandi or MLK who said "Practice non-violence?"

I agree for the most part with practicing non-violence but as of last night would like to request an edit...

"Practice non-violence. Except in the case of stupid, dumbass, exploited reality tv stars who are dumber than shit. In which case, it is ok to kick them in the balls repeatedly."

The workday week ends for Hollywood Wong. And what an odd week it's been. I am on the road so much that when I do get to spend whole chunks of time at home doing LA things. Like auditioning for tv shows and loafing about the Santa Monica Promenade.

Living in LA lately is like a reality show.

In January, I got a ride to LAX from two contestants of "The Pick Up Artist" only to get picked up by a real pick up artist in Miami.

And last night, my friend Mitsu and I were having dinner at this really bad frat boy-ish bar next to Old Navy on the Santa Monica Promenade and saw Ashley, one of the contestants from "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" at the bar. He was the archetypal "dumb cowboy" kicked off for "falling for Tila too quickly" and started a fight that put him and another guy in the hospital.

Ashley said during the first episode, "I've never dated an Asian girl but I sure like Chinese food."

Yuck.

Yuckier.

MTV rewarded Ashley's violent behavīor by putting him on a spinoff dating show "That's Amore" where the Italian guy, Domenico, who Tila eliminated, gets a chance to find his own American sweetheart. And Ashley is his dumb wingman hick of an American cultural informant.

Great, I'm really glad they are letting this guy near more women. And putting him in a position of authority.

Mitsu and I are watching Ashley at the bar. He's doing tequila shots and being boisterous like a guy who stars on a reality show and believes he has eclipsed the importance of the world.

And I'm thinking:
This is so sad. He really is as stupid in real life as on television.

Of course, you cannot judge someone's intelligence by their behavīor at a bar. If you tried to gauge my intelligence by my history of bar behavīor... well...

So being the OPEN MINDED, trashy reality dating show obsessed uncredentialed anthropologist I am, I said, "Mitsu, let's sit closer by him so we can see what it is he talks about."

We pull up in the seats next to him and even without trying his friend starts introducing us. Ashley starts to throw his arms around Mitsu and says, "Come with us to the next bar. Let's party."

It was like a bad after school special, except if the actors were retarded.

I say, "No, we have to go. But good luck with your show and stuff." I'm totally polite and nice.

I turn around to leave and then it happens.

He grabs my ass!

I don't know about you. But if someone grabs my ass and I didn't ask or invite it, my instinct is to turn around and knee that doofus in the balls. Which I've done before (years ago) and that's exactly what I did in that moment.

I guess he's used to a lot of girls trying to kick him on the balls because on almost perfect reflexes he blocked my kick.

"Ha ha! You tried to kick me in the balls and you missed." And then he stood there laughing at how clever he was.

Honestly, if I did not see this guy beat the crap out of another contestant on Reality TV and got both of them sent to the hospital, I would have really fought back. I was so fuming mad and went back in for a second ball kick. And then a third.

Each time, he blocked me.

Mitsu had to pull me away because I was screaming, "Don't do that!! Don't ever do that!" and creating a bit of a scene.

And then in the parking lot I was screaming, "I should have slapped him! I should have really went for it! If he wasn't so big and wasn't around all those men, and didn't beat a guy up on reality tv, I would have KILLED HIM!"

It really sucks to feel so powerless around a stupid violent man.

Anyway, I'm over it. I watched Project Runway online and forgot how mad it made me.

What does this story say about men and women? Where are the nice respectful men in this world?

They aren't on TV, or Reality TV at least. Do they exist?

*MTV *Music Videos *MTV Shows *Entertainment News

All I can say is. Thank you Ashley, for yanking out my lesbian side.