Dong Ming - Day 3 (11.26): Wang Fei’s Wedding!

The big day has finally arrived! At 7:00 I woke up (actually 6:50 … my internal clock woke me up a bit early) and I showered and changed for the celebrations. At 8:00 Wang Fei’s friend, who’s name I always forget (but had lunch with Matt and I in Zhengzhou last month), came to pick me up and took me to the Wang Residence.

It was in the throes of preparations. People were running to and fro getting everything ready for the ceremony and so I stayed on the side with Jennifer while we tried not to get in the way. She, of course being a member of the family, was called away on duty from time to time, and I spent most of my time taking lots of video and pictures (I was designated as the secondary videographer) of what was going on.

Wang Wei helping Wang Fei get ready

People anxiously waiting around for the great event to begin

After a while we all piled in the cars and our procession took off at a snail’s pace, admist a flurry of firecrackers thrown from car windows, to the bride’s home.

When we arrived they went through the procedure of Wang Fei trying to gain admittance to the bride’s room, and then to take the bride to his home to marry her. It was a cute ritual and lots of people were laughing and crying simultaneously. Eventually we got back in the cars and made our way back to the Wang homestead where dozens of onlookers were awaiting us.

The pimp-mobile to pick up the bride

The Bride awaits her groom

“Please come be my bride!”

Carrying his bride to the car

The ceremony itself was relatively simple. They first kow tou (bow kneeling down with their heads to the ground) three times to their ancestors, then three times to the parents, and then three times to each other. Then, after sharing some mantou, baijiou and some food with each other they’re man and wife.

Bowing to the parents of the groom

A stiff drink makes the proceedings go down easier

However, the reality of it is that it’s like a courtyard filled with controlled chaos. Wang Fei’s friends (rowdy buggers that they were) would kick him in the butt or push him in to the bride at random moments. After the ceremony they pretty much mauled him too, and just about every family member was subject to a random group of people grabbing them and throwing them up in the air several times. The thinking is that, this one day when they are happy no matter what, you can do anything you want to the family and the married couple and they will still be happy. This is also why they put ash and stuff all over the parent’s faces.

A happy father gets accosted by a group of women

Throwing the mother of the groom around

They also have a ritual of throwing people on the couple’s bed. Usually it’s the family or close friends of the bride or groom but I managed to get grabbed three times and thrown on the bed. I was also accosted by a group of older women who grabbed me in the courtyard and threw me up in the air (I tried to root myself in some sort of stance but to no avail). It was a little scary, but ultimately very fun.

A poor woman getting tossed on the bed

She was using this woman as a shield to avoid getting tossed

Cute kids a’plenty

Eventually the craziness died down and we all went down the street to the restaurant around the corner (where the last two evenings’ dinners were eaten) to have the banquet. The whole first and second floors were reserved for the wedding party, and I was put into a room with Wang Wei and several cousins. I would occasionally get pulled out for one reason or another and after a while I hung out in Jennifer’s room with the aunt’s and female cousins (and a few kids) before we walked back to the house for the afternoon.

Parents getting ready to toast guests at the party

The bride and groom toasting guests at the party

The afternoon was pretty relaxed as we spent our time just hanging out and talking to family and visitors. After a while Jennifer and Wang Wei accompanied me back to my hotel room for a rest. We watched some stuff on my computer and chilled out until we were called for dinner.

Grandmother and great grand child relaxing before dinner

Jennifer and her new sister, the bride

Wang Wei and Wang Fei

The Dinner Spread

Wang Fei picked us up and took us back to the Wang Residence where we ate all the da bao’s (take home leftovers) from the banquet. It still made a huge feast for dinner and was way more food than we could have eaten. I spent the night hanging out and watching the guy across from me get drunker and drunker. Eventually, he was only able to repeat the English word “happy!” over and over, which Jenn and I decided probably meant “I’m drunk!”.

After dinner we hung out and watched the wedding video from Jennifer and Wang Wei’s wedding the year before, and then after the last relatives had left the five of us (Wang Fei, his bride, Wang Wei, Jennifer and myself) went to get a bunch of la mian, lamb sticks and drinks to take back to my hotel room and spend some time hanging out. While we were there I played the video Jennifer and Wang Wei had made for his family and sent over with Matt when he came last month.

The bride eating lambsticks in my hotel room

To be honest, the whole day was pretty taxing. I kept thinking it was later than it was. When the banquet started it felt like 3 in the afternoon, but it was only about 11 in the morning. At dinner I felt like it was starting at 8 p.m. but it was really about 5:00. By the time the four Wang’s left my hotel I felt like it was 3 a.m., but it was only 10:30. In any case, I plan on sleeping in for a very very long time tomorrow morning, my internal clock be damned.

By the way, I’ve managed to upload the photos from the first two days in Dong Ming so you can see them. Just go back to those entries and you will see the photos and links there. You can also view my entire Shandong 2006 Gallery (274 photos and counting!) by clicking here.