Facing My Fears

Ok, I just wanted to say that I had a great time on Sunday night.  Jun's concert just blew me away.  I really enjoyed the songs and the musicians were just amazing!  It was the first time I got to hear Jun perform and I don't know how he can sing and play drums at the same time.  That must take a lot of coordination...which for some reason...even if I am a dancer....I can't seem to  snap my fingers while I sing....ya, retarded..I know...anyways, I really liked the setting of the whole show because it was intimate, casual, and made me feel like I was no longer in HK.  And it was great to see my big bro Terence (not by blood)  and my friends from Audiotraffic amongst this very talented all star team.  oh...and I must not forget Eugene Pao!  It was really nice to get to finally meet Eugene for the first time at the after party.  What a down to earth guy!

Speaking of the after party..it completed the night when some of the guys decided to randomly jam.  I'm always amazed when people can just get up and jam....it's very inspiring to watch them all have such a great time...but, it has to be one of my greatest fears as a performer.  I hate it when I'm at a club or bar where there is live music...and my friends tell me to go up and sing.  I don't think they know what a big deal it is....I'm a perfectionist when it comes to performing...and I really need a lot of rehearsal before I can sing in front of ANYONE!  I think part of my phobia comes from when I was studying musical theatre in NYC.  Everyone I knew had the best voices ever!  They all could belt really high and a lot of them had that raspy sultry voice that I've always wanted.  But, me?  I had this cartoon kid voice with no vibrato....and even now I'll hear people say...wow you really improved since the last time I heard you sing.....ok, what does that mean?  Did I suck before and you just pretended that I was good?  LIAR!!  Anyways....the point is...later on when most people had left already..."SOMEONE" (and I KNOW it was you) said..."is there a singer in the house!"....and all eyes were pointing to me....so, I got up and ran out the door!  When I came back in...Patrick and Tracie were encouraging me to go up...my heart was just pounding with fear....me?  Jam with Jun, Eugene, Adrian...and this Brazilian pianist that I'm sorry I don't remember his name....um, no...I don't think so...

of course, Tracie had to scream out "FEVER!"...and the music started.....ok...I had to choose...lose face as a coward?  or...suck it up and hope to God that I don't freak out and mess up.  So....I went up...and it was so much fun!  I was a bit held back and felt embarrassed....because, well..I never know when it's going to end...but..I had this real high being up there with these great musicians..and at the same time, I hoped that the song would hurry up and finish before I made any mistakes....but, it was a great end to the night...it was definitely an improvement to my normal self.....so...hopefully, overtime...this sort of thing won't freak me out so much...and it will be even more enjoyable to me....I guess, all I really need is experience....by the way...it looks like I'm planning on moving back to HK.... 我只是想告訴你，我這個星期天過得非常愉快，

Jun的演唱會把我完完全全吸引住了。那些歌那些音樂真的是太棒了，這是我第一次看Jun的表演，我真的不知道他怎麼能一邊打鼓 同時一邊唱，這須要配合得很好才行...某種原因.. .就算我是個舞蹈演員....我都無法一邊唱一邊用手指打拍子. ...我知道自己簡直像是個傻瓜...不管怎麼說 ，我真的很喜歡整個座位的安排，那種漫不經心的親密 ，我幾乎忘了自己在香港，太高興能見到我的大哥尹子衞， （雖然我們並沒有任何血源關係）和我的一些很又天賦的音樂界的朋 友聚在一起，哦...我不能忘了提到

Eugene

Pao!演唱會結束後，在慶功宴上，終於有機會能認識Eugen e，那是這世界上最完美的事了。

說到慶功宴..演唱會完了，大家還餘興未了，有人提議即興爵士演 唱，我一直都覺得很不可思議，人們能夠隨時站起來就可以即興唱. ...看到他們唱得那麼興奮也讓我也開始激動.. .但是作為一個表演者，這是我最怕的，我最不喜歡我那些朋友在俱 樂部或者是酒吧裡一聽到有人奏樂就叫我上去唱了，他們縂認為沒什 麼大不了，他們不明白對我來說，表演是我的專業，我必須排練得非 常成熟才能唱給別人聽，我想這和我當初在紐約受過音樂劇專科訓練 有很大的關係。每一個我認識的人都有付好嗓子，他們可以唱很高音 ，一直都是我夢想能有的，但是我的嗓子卻像卡通片裡的小孩 ，沒有響亮的震音...甚至於到現在，每當人們告訴我 ，我比他上次聽我唱時進步了很多....我會忍不住想 ，你這麼說時什麼意思，是我以前唱得很差，或是以前你只是騙我說 我唱得好呢？實際上....我的意思是...一直到人都走得七七 八八了，有一個人（我知道是你)問..."還有沒有歌星在場啊! "....這時所有的人眼光都向我看來....我趕快站起身來跑 了出去，但是當我再回來時...Patrick

and Tracie拼命鼓勵我要我上去唱....想到我要和 Jun,

Eugene,

Adrian一起在臺上作即興爵士演唱是，我的心緊張得像是在打 鼓似的...還有這位Brazilian鋼琴家（很抱歉我忘了他 的名字...不...我想這是不可能的...結果，結果我的朋友

Tracie大聲叫道"FEVER!"...跟著音樂開始了.. ...好......我必須選擇像小丑似的丟臉呢?還是.. .我只有求上帝保佑我不會暈過去，不會忘記歌詞

....我終於還是站了起來...我享受了從來沒有的快樂 !我有一點緊張，有一點不好意思....因為我不知道什麼時候會 唱完，...但是..能和這麼棒的音樂家在一塊，我真的是太興奮 了，..同時，我希望可以趕快在我出錯之前唱完這首歌

....這是最完美的結局...對我來說是跨出了一大步，... ..我希望,

overtime..這小小的插曲讓我變得不正常了.. .只會讓我更陶醉，更享受音樂了....我想，我須要有更多這樣 的經驗....還有...看起來我像是又打算搬回香港了....

*video is posted with all my other videos