i have been thinking about this world of blogging and it's meaning, it's usefulness and it's authenticity to the realness and truthfulness of the individual. it used to be that a diary (or journal) was written in privacy, in secrecy. no one got to it with the exception of the person who wrote it. it was meant for recording the feelings and emotions of the person that day, so that years later, one could recount the past. it was not held for public viewing. writing such daily thoughts would help clarify my ideas of who i was, where i wanted to go in life, my boyhood fantasies and love and hate interests. it was sort of self edification, a way of cleansing and purifying one's self without having to go to confession. if i write it down, it would keep me arms away from hell's gate, but i'd never be pushed inside, cause i confessed in the diary. read it and weep. when the internet first made it's way to my bedroom, i started writing my 'diary' in old html fashion. it was not called a 'blog'. i wrote about my pain, my struggles, my desire, the loss of my brother, and the n my father in those first few years. it was not meant for public viewing, and i never envisioned a real audience in front of those words. never. i have been thinking greatly about the power of the blog nowadays, but feel that in some ways, the authenticity of my writing has been somewhat commercialized and bastardized by my idea of selling myself, because after all, blogs now have audiences. i will say with all truthfulness that getting an audience gives me a high, but then i somehow want to keep all the really bad feelings inside. so i was thinking today that i should buy a notebook (the paper kind) to document my inner thought of where i want to go and what i want to achieve in life. i never used to think of the future, always living for the moment, after all, this is the way of the Buddha....
Never in my dreams as a little child did I ever think I would come to live, work and play in Hong Kong. Born in Canada to Chinese parents, I moved here in 1994