fairweather

i find myself going through spells where i don’t want to share anything.  or i feel like i’m boring you.  maybe i’m just boring myself.

but, you.

funny…i feel like i have a relationship with you.  the collective you.  though small you are, you do play a role in my life now.  and so sometimes i’m very drawn to you, but then other times i pull away and avoid you, knowing very well that i’ll be drawn in again.  you’re like a lover.

sometimes when i’m really feeling it, i get more flirtatious.  i share a lot.  flash a little skin.

i woo you with funny/pretty/weird things i make or find, hoping you’ll be entertained, and unavoidably wanting you to appreciate my strange tastes.

then suddenly i’m bored.  i need something you can’t give me.  the tangible.  touch.  feeling.  intimacy.

and so i grow restless.  hungry.  and i stray…

i rendezvous with my other lovers.  some i see regularly, others i go months without seeing –

(sorry yoga – we have amazing physical chemistry, but i’m in hollywood and you’re in atwater, plus i started seeing the ymca…  but i miss you.  and you know at some point i need you to turn me out like you always do.  dayum.)

but without fail…

i do.  always.  come.  back.

to.

you.

because you.  you.  are a mystery.  i don’t know how to read you… so that excites me.  haha fuck, do i always need a challenge?

yes.  apparently i do.

so let’s dance shall well?

i’m feelin it.

right.

now.

photo by:  leigha hodnet