Being a Professional Asshole

A while back, my phone rang. It was Kevin Li, of LMFand Hardpackfame.

I never expected him to call me.

I really admire Kevin’s drumming. He’s rock solid and can lead a band remarkably well. I remember the 2nd Alive Not Dead anniversary band show at Grappa’s; Kevin was essentially the house drummer for the night and did a fantastic job not just drumming but keeping everyone together. As many different people as he worked with, it was doubly impressive. 

The same goes for watching him with LMF last year. Surprisingly, it’s a lot harder to play along with samples or electronic beats than it seems. They don’t breathe, or change, and you can’t communicate with them, verbally, musically or otherwise. Kevin kicked a lot of ass that night, and I felt bad that whoever was in charge of the lighting left him criminally underlit for the duration of the show.

But I had no earthly idea why he was calling me.

So he told me.

He needed someone to play a gweilo record executive for a prank video he was doing. It was going to be Joey Tang’s birthday, and Kevin wanted me to pretend to be an American music producer who is very UN-impressed with Joey’s guitar playing and tells Joey to his face.

What an@sshole.

So the next Monday I went to the Hong Kong Coliseum, where Kevin and Joey (as well as a lot of others) were rehearsing for the William So concerts taking place a few days later. I spent some time watching rehearsal and then did my part:

Jesus Christ I’m fat.

I felt really, really bad just walking up to someone and insulting them. Especially since everyone will tell you what a really nice guy Joey is. The look on his face was making me feel lower than whale sh*t.

So when it came to the reveal, I was very, very relieved.

I got to tell Joey that not only did I know who he was, and who Tai Chi was, but I had played one of his songs when I did a show with Dear Jane and Cheung Chi Lam. On top of that,  the bassist with Dear Jane that night was Sing, Tai Chi’s bassist :

A bonus for me was getting to meet Mark Lui Chun Tak, who was the musical director. He was very shocked when I told him I knew who he was because of his movie past.  

It was fun meeting William So Wing Hong as well. 

Chris Polanco deserves a special mention too, since we know each other, so he had to hide it. We hung out for a while after the prank was over, and it’s always good talking with him.

I strongly encourage everyone and anyone to watch Chris play wherever and whenever he has a gig. Latin music is like driving a Ferrari to me; it’s beautiful and amazing and I will never, ever, be able to do it.  I am just grateful to watch someone who can, and who can do it so well.

I want to thank Kevin for allowing me the chance to help out, and to thank Joey Tang for having such a good sense of humor. I hope everyone who watches the video realizes it’s a prank.

I don’t want to get randomly accosted on the street as “that gweilo @sshole who insulted Joey Tang!”