Casting Surprise From Feng Xiagong

A big surprise in Hollywood today, as Chinese director Feng Xiagong reveals that the role ofGu Zidi (谷子地) in the director's soon-to-begin-filming sequelAssembly 2/集结号2 is to be played by African American actor Wesley Snipes, shown here in an early promotional photo for the film:"始終賭黑..."Anyone who hasn't gotten the joke by now please leave the planet before breeding.

I only made the joke because I was looking at the photo and noticed a resemblance.

Anyone who feels the resemblance in any way demeans Zhang needs to f@#$ off and die, you racist @sswipe.

I want to give 'props' to Zhang Hanyu, probably my favorite Mainland actor. I really liked The Assembly, and his small role as a divorced cop in Equation of Love and Death was very memorable.

He was okay as HOCC's love interest inLooking for a Star , but my faint praise reeks more than faintly of envy.

I was talking with Kevin Ma about Zhang a while back, and I found a way to express my appreciation for him.Zhang Hanyu is so great, I'd watch him in anycop movie. Even Chinese movies that were based on American police stories:CHiPs: Chinese Highway Patrol"您沒有驅動器這樣在我的縣，男孩..."Die Hard/困難死亡:"Yippi-kay-ay, 母親增殖..."Dirty Hanyu:"你覺得幸運，朋克?"Even playing the Will Smith role in Bad Boys 1:I must admit, this photo makes me slightly uncomfortable.And again, I am not having a p*ss-take at Zhang's expense.

Okay, maybe that last photo. But itdoes work as a Bad Boys reference.

I am essentially sincere when I say I would watch this guy play a cop for decades.

I would even... should I say it?

I can't believe I am about to utter this blasphemy, but here goes...

I would even watch him in a China remake of John Woo's epic Hard Boiled/辣手神探.

The narrative gymnastics necessary to make such a film would be impressive to the point of double-jointed pornography, but again, the basic premise holds.

I'd love to watch Zhang play Inspector 'Baijiu Yuan' (袁白酒) and kick multitudinous ass.Okay, maybe the Tony Leung character...I don't care. As long as he kicks a lot of ass.

And he would. In a perfect world, Zhang Hanyu would even play the lead role inChinese Terminator: Rise of the Nationalists.It's bound to be better than Chinese Transformers: Kung Fu Cyborg.

I'd go see it, too.

In a selfless bid to improve cross-strait relations in the face of this potentially inflammatory film, I'd askZoe Leeto go with me. Can't we all just get along? Strangely enough, American and Cold-War-Baby that I am, my favorite scene in Assembly has Zhang's character standing in the middle of a roomful of Nationalist soldiers. He loudly berates them, bellowing that they're losers, he's not afraid of them, and they should all pretty much just f@#$ themselves.

For me, the politics of it are a moot point. It's just a very engaging moment watching someone face down 100 people with absolutely no fearor even a momentary lapse of conviction.

In that scene, he's a classicmovie hero: fearless, driven, and unflinching, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that his position is untenable.

He portrays the kind of person we'd probably all like to be at least once in our lives.

Here's a Hollywood example: when a group of super-soldiers are confronted with a seemingly unstoppable adversary in Predator, only Arnold Schwarzenegger's character has the courage and indomitable will to quietly observe "If it bleeds, we can kill it."I'd watchChinese Predator, but only if the predator was played by RuPaul.No, I don't know why. But admit it, you'd watch it too. Zhang Hanyu has the capacity to play the best kind of heroic protagonist: the guy nobodyever messes with (except the utter f@#$ing idiots who then get their @ss handed to them) because you can see in his eyes that you'd lose.Zhang conveys that in a way very few actors can.

If he was the Mayor inSuper Typhoon, he'd pimp-slap the typhoon and it would just go away. He wouldn't even have to hit it with his fist. Infact, the typhoon probably wouldn't even come near him. It knows that if it so much as put out his cigarette, he'd kill it. A super typhoon may be a massive, inanimate meteorological phenomenon, but its notstupid. This is not your grandmother's Chinese movie hero.

And certainly not your grandmother's Chinese movie Hero of the People, thoughThe Assembly comes close.

Now get out of his way and let's watch Chinese Shaft.

Would you like some popcorn, Zoe?