Culture and (in)Appropriateness

Sometimes my sense of humor can bite me in the @ss.

But at least it doesn't charge me extra...

See?

I make no qualms about having a very crass, mean, juvenile sense of humor. I sometimes tart it up (!) with a well-endowed vocabulary, but it's still just a bad attitude with good grammar.

Then again, it makes me laugh, and that's what I'm after. If others laugh, that's just whipped cream.

I don't think I'm a bad person, but I know I can be abrasive, confrontational, and mean-spirited. While being 'funny.'

And my language... let's not even open that can of worms.

Digression, sort of -

Lots of Chinese people told me thatThe Departedwas insulting toInfernal Affairsbecause the people in it swore 'too much,' a term so relative that I usually just ignored it. I tried to explain to them that the film takes place in South Boston, which is part of New England, andthat's how people talk there. I love watching that movie because it's like Old Home Week. It reminds me of being around my friends. It makes me laugh, and I need that.

So, to get back on track, what we're talking about is culture and humor. Often a matter of context, or of familiarity.

And so what?

Well, last spring I was asked by a colleague to do a lecture on narcotics for his Globalization course.

I should have asked him why he thought I knew about such things, but I refrained on advice of counsel...

I delivered a lecture about heroin and cocaine, and apparently it went over well. They must have liked it, because I was asked to repeat it this fall for another group.

This time, I opened with a slide that read :The following presentation should in no way be construed  as proof that the presenter has any knowledge or experience of the subject beyond diligent research, popular media, and anecdotal information (inadmissible as evidence in any legal proceeding).I don't need people "all in my business..." and neither do you.

But the real issue had happened before that.

I had been sent a copy of the flyer to check the spelling for my name, etc.

Well, me being me, I decided to have some fun. I added a photo to the flyer and sent it off, thinking that my colleague, who is German but studied in the US, would catch the joke.

No such luck.

She did, however, catch the flyers before they went up, though they were printed, after I had alerted her to the fact that the picture wasn't supposed to be there.

Otherwise, our building would have been adorned thusly (identifying information removed for safety's sake): Special Guest: Tyrone Biggums On one level, it would have been hucking filarious.But on another, the last thing I needed to do was encourage negative stereotypes of Black people in Hong Kong, something that sadly needs no help.

And as bad as I would have felt if it went up, I also wouldn't have. It would have made me laugh, in that sick, mean way, because I have an inappropriate attachment to inappropriate things and events.

No surprise there, wot?

Besides, the use of inappropriate attachments also costs extra. From what I've heard...

It would have somehow made me happy, and if I'm a bad person for that, so be it.One of the worst things about spending virtually all your time alone is that you can easily lose your sense of knowing that other people's thoughts and feelings matter, or you just stop caring.

My initial response to the VaTech beheading a couple months ago was to send Simon Yim a message with three different jokes I came up with in the span of a minute. They were all grossly inappropriate  and (he thought) very funny.

I didn't write them in public here because  I didn't want to offend people, and with my luck the victim would be  related to someone who reads my blog... But I couldn't NOT tell these jokes, so I sent them to Simon. I'm glad he wasn't incensed.Then again, he only burns incense when his eyes get red. Or is it the other way around...?I often enjoy offending people who offend me (and that's a long list), but at least here, I respect you enough to not to subject you to my worst outpourings (believe it or not!). For that, you may thankwhat Lincoln called the better angels of our nature.I offend people intentionally without guilt, but when I inadvertentlyoffend people I respect and care about, I feel almost as bad as I did the other night when I put Winsome over my head and made her cry. I felt terrible because I somehow foolishly hoped I would never do that to her, and I didn't mean to, and it didn't matter because I did it.

I inadvertently offend people I care about with nauseating frequency. They know who they are and they know I feel terrible about it. So if (and when) I ever offend any of you, at least you can know that I didn't intend it, at least personally.

But I can't say it'll never happen again, because it will.If I don't make jokes my head will explode.