Dirty Blog Water... Or Not?

In the interest of fairness and proving I am not a 'salty minded' man, I decided to fill out the same set of questions, but using a different theme. Hopefully, it is self-evident.

And I promise, I avoid sex completely.

Art reflecting life.

Dammit.

1. What time did you get up this morning?

'Morning' is a highly relative term for musicians and/or those who work for them.

"I try to get up every day..." Jimi Hendrix on theDick Cavett Show.

1. How do you like your steak?

At Lawry's Steak House, Chicago.

Preferably followed by seeing UFO in the same city, circa 1980.

1. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

I only ever see movies on the bus or in hotels.

1. What is your favorite TV show?

Headbanger's Ball.

1. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?  Japan; best concentration of guitars, live music, and AV stars I know personally.

That's a statement of fact and therefore exempt from the no-sex clause, unlike myself. But we'll see if my third trip to Tokyo's the charm, so to speak.

1. What did you have for breakfast?

5 Marlboros and 6 Bloody Marys.

But it was a Sunday, and it was between Greensboro and Pittsburgh.

1. What is your favorite cuisine?

Anything but the crew dinner.

1. What foods do you dislike?

Lunch meats with poor traction (to be clarified later).

1. Favorite place to eat?

Texas

1. Favorite dressing?

The clothes you wear on the first and last nights of the tour.

1. What are your favourite clothes? 

Tour t-shirts and promoter swag. Steel toe Doc Martens. Laminates. Lunch meat.

1. Where would you visit if you had the chance? 

The stage of Nippon Budokan. As a headliner.

1. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

It'll never say Nippon Budokan on it, so who cares?

1. Where would you want to retire?

Old Rock Stars Home. Between Warner Hodges and Dan Baird. Which is where I'll spend a week in Finland in November.

1. Favorite time of day?

The moment the house lights go down and the crowd makes a noise not heard since the days of the gladiators.

The beast knows it is about to be fed, and it rejoices.

1. Where were you born? 

Near the Hartford Civic Center.

1. What is your favorite sport to watch?

Guitar solos.

1. Bird watcher?

No, that's the drum tech's job. The singer signals him, and he tells the security goons, who then give her a backstage pass.

1. Are you a morning person or a night person?

See #1 above. Ideally, your energy peaks according to showtime.

Otherwise, you are well and truly f@#$ed.

1. Do you have any pets?

My python got out of its cage in Stockholm.

Or was it Dubuque?

1. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?

I saw this great story on CNN about a snake terrorizing a hotel... but I can't remember where.

1. What did you want to be when you were little?

Ace Frehley

1. What is your best childhood memory?

Hearing "You Really Got Me" by Van Halen at age 12. It was life-changing.

1. Are you a cat or dog person?

The singer is allergic to both. So we make sure his groupies are women who own one or both.

The arrogant f@#$.

1. Always wear your seat belt?

Tour buses don't have seat belts. Otherwise, we could restrain the drummer when he gets uncontrollably drunk.

I.e. whenever he's not onstage.

1. Pet Peeves?

Tom Lee. No, that's a Predator Peeve.  Not living in Japan, I guess.

1. Favorite Pizza Toppings?

Pepperoni, because you can fling it at the groupies who will do anything to get backstage, including standing topless while the road crew tries to toss the contents of the backstage deli tray (you wouldn't eat this sh*t) on them, trying to get it to stick.

No, I haven't, but I know someone who has. They eventually had to stop, because theentire production ground to a halt while everyone gathered to observe this hilarity...

1. Favorite Flower? 

The ones on the counter of the few decent hotels I ever get to stay in.

1. Favorite ice cream?

Ben and Jerry's, Lollapalooza 1995, Rochester (or was it Oakland?). It hit her collarbone and slid over three slices of bologna and a slice of ham before falling off.

I made $10!

1. Favorite fast food restaurant?

McDonalds. It sucks, but it sucks consistently from here to Fargo and back. Your stomach dislikes it but doesn't reject it.

Or try to pass the buck to your colon.

1. How many times did you fail your driver's test?

You're supposed to take a test for driving?

Oh sh*t!

1. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? The very exclusive boutique shop called Tolerable Lead Singers or their outlet branch, 3-Digit IQ Drummers.

2. Do anything spontaneous lately?

Spent 30 seconds with my head next to a 4x12 speaker cabinet blaring 100 watts of guitar solo, trying to put back the microphone the singer kicked over unintentionally.

People on my left get asked "What?" more than those on my right.

1. Like your job?

You'd have to be insane, a degenerate, and a masochist to love my job. Of course I do.

1. What was your favorite vacation?

Ever notice that a lot of US tours end in Hawaii?

1. Last person you went out to dinner with?

The bass player. He nodded out in his linguine.

It was one of my better dinners with him.

1. What are you listening to right now?

"SCORPION DEATH ROCK" by Sex Machineguns.  

1. What is your favorite color?

Black. Motherf@#$er.

I don't know, it just seemed to sing.

1. How many tattoos do you have?

If you can count them, you don't have enough.

1. Coffee Drinker?

"Coffee... the low end of the speed spectrum." -Rick Richards, The Georgia Satellites