Friends Don't Let Friends Get Bad Ink

I saw that bumper sticker in a tattoo shop once, and have seen it on t-shirts too.

It's something I've always tried to live by.

I've brought studentsto tattooists before, just to be sure they didn't get 'scratched' by some hack.

I even took an ex-girlfriend to a tattooist once. We weren't even really friends, but I still wouldn't wish a bad tattoo on her.

I wouldn't have wished an STD on her either, but she didn't see fit to reciprocate... Recently, after reading one of my blog entries that included a funny tattoo,Thomas Hallealerted me towww.ugliesttattos.com

Hilarity ensues. I don't regret any of my tattoos (unlike relationships), but these people sure as hell do. Unless they're completely f@#$ing retarded.

I nicked a few of the 'best' ones to illustrate the capacity for bad tattoos to cause people, in Thomas' own words, to "pretty much [lose] the very little hope left I had for humanity..."But they were missing one that I  will save for last.

Here are some 'lowlights' from the site:

Zombie football? No, just a wildly inept rendering of the old (and far superior) New England Patriots mascot:

While we're on the subject of sports... I'm not sure what's worse: the fact that this is a NASCAR tattoo, or that it's on a woman. Or that her back has a beer belly. Probably a little of all three.

James Brown, Lord of the Undead.

Displease him and ye shall die.

The tattooist apparently refused to put "Sorry girls, I suck dck" on thismalecustomer. I think a Clay Aiken tattoo says it just as well. Remember, they usually put signs inhigh traffic areas.So either alotof guys need to know this, or her steady isreallypining for that stretch of Pennsylvania thoroughfare and needs constant reminding that the Hershey Highway has no on-ramp, so to speak. "And then a beautiful unicorn descended from the clouds and killed all the nggers, kkes, and chnks, and the white people lived happily ever after. Good night Adolf..."

Is that the code for Babality? I think she got it wrong.

You're retarded and so is your tattooist.

Because a Susan Boyle tattoo would be so... normal.

Ahhhh, but all this is just a prelude.

Here it is: the piece de resistance...

A tattoo that knows no shame...

A true test of manhood...

An abomination of stupendous proportions...

Since the rendering is so awful, let me give you a hint: CHUCK

F@#$ING

NORRIS

Repent, for the end is nigh.For a more region-specific giggle, visit www.hanzismatter.com