I swore I'd stay out of it...

But the jokes... the jokes...

You think Usain Bolt is fast?

It's possible several young women turned 16 in 14years. That's fast.

Just maybe 16 is the new 14. No, wait, 14 is the new 16...?

You know what I mean.

Before I get the hate mail -

Any criticisms must first apply for a criticism permit before being allowed entry into the designated criticism area or having your criticism acknowledged. The criticized will issue permits if and when they see fit, and considering how they (we) feel about criticism, that may be some time. We're not saying we won't, and you can't say we didn't (even though we have yet to do so), but we don't have to even though we said we would. We haven't issued any, but we haven't not issued any, because we still might. If you stop being so unnecessarily critical. Because it's all your fault. We're not doing anything wrong. Why not? We just said we aren't. That's good enough for us. And it's going to have to be good enough for you.

Any criticism of the process by which permission to indulge in criticism granted (or not) is not allowed.

Did anyone else see the headline that read something like "Beckham to kick balls off of a red bus for 2012 handover"?

I didn't know buses had them. They must be huge. And made of steel. And painted red.

One more day. One more day.

If you think I'm an @sshole (or just an American),

A) Funny, you don't looklike my ex-wife.

B) It's 10:30 on Saturday night. I'm at home. That's punishment enough.

C) Go pound sand.