Movie Review: Adventure of the King/龍鳳店

****

“You’re watchingBathing in Prison, starring Barbie Hsu as Adventure of the King/龍鳳店 and Richie Ren as the audience .”

This f@#$ing movie was so bad that watching it gave mepinkeye.

We went to the Grand @ Elements for this piece of junk. The last 3 Chinese movies we’ve seen there have been crap, counting this one. Which makes sense, since its a sequel toFlirting Scholar 2, a film whose only redeeming value was that itended.

To be fair, the lastAmerican movieI saw there was crap too.

The really funny (for you), aggravating (for me) thing was that after the film, we were forced into this bizarre underground journey to getoutof the cinema.

Because, it turns out, this film’spremierewas taking place in lieu of the 9:15 showing.

We were told this by one of the Grand’s employees, who pointed at the poster.

“We’ve just seen it,” I said. “Can we get our money back?”

“It’s a Chinese film,” he was saying to another of the Gang of Film, a statement whose necessity is right up there isSean is Angry.

Which is germane to the story, because as soon as he said that, I said “It’s ash*tmovie!” Some people around me seemed to take offence, but f@#$ them.

They hadn’t just watched it.

We hung around the lobby to catch a glimpse of Richie Ren and other assorted stars.

As people filed into the cinema, myself and another Gang member laughed cruelly  and said “You’re alldoomed…”

They didn’t like this too much, but as previously noted,f@#$ them .

I gave them thestink eye.

Which is still better than whatAdventure of the King/龍鳳店gave them.

Maybe I’m being overly critical. It’s possible to like this movie, and here’sproof.

More likely, though, its proof that very strong weed grows in Malaysia.