Movie Review: Curse Of The Deserted/荒村公寓

Not to be confused withPurse of the Converted ,  a documentary about  televangelists.

How can you watch a ghost movie that youknowisn’t a ghost movie?

You see, Curse Of The Deserted/荒村公寓is made in/for China.

Well, those wacky gigglemeisters at the CCP h ave decreed that ghosts aren’t real. And so if thereareghosts in a movie, they can’treallybe ghosts.

Because ghosts aren’t real.

And neither is the government of Taiwan.

So when I sat down to watchCurse Of The Deserted/荒村公寓last Saturday, I knew that the biggest question would not be “Are there really ghosts?” as much as “What’s the excuse going to be?”

Is it just a story?

A dream?

An hallucination?

Because it has to be one of these.

And it is.

So why the f@#$ would I go see it?

Why not? It’s not as though my dance card was full, and I enjoy spending time with my friends from the Gang of Film (電影人幫).

The film’s notbad. It looks okay, it’s acted pretty well, and it has its moments of dramatic effectiveness.

Unfortunately, you can’t really ever get caught up in it because you know that IT IS NOT REAL.

Yes, clock spring, I know ghosts aren’treallyreal.

Still, at least in movies we can suspend our disbelief in ghosts.

But not Taiwan. It’s a lie. Even in movies.

So the suspense of the film is always undercut by the nagging certitude that what you are watching isn’t even realwithin the film itself .

It would be like watching John Wayne play a Communist. You know that The Duke isn’treallya Red. America wouldn’t allow it.  And even if you try, you can’t take him seriously as he tries to espouse the virtues of the Little Red Book.

All you can really do is wait for the big ‘reveal’ wherein you see how the movie admits to the lie its been peddling (poorly) for an hour and fifteen minutes.

When Lord, when will Chinese cinema/CSARFT make the Great Leap Forward to a ratings system so that grown Chinese people can watch movies that little Chinese people can’t, and in so doing free us of the bonds of cinematic didactics?

Probably about the same time the lack of a ratings system stops being a nice convenient way to manipulate the content of movies so that they always promote a harmonious society, no matter at the expense of truth, subtlety, sophistication or narrative/artistic worth.

I.e. never.

Remember what I always say, folks:

I watch movies… so you don’t have to.