Movie Review: Mulan/花木蘭

The advance buzz on this film was the main reason that the Movie Night crew (i.e. Kozoand his minions) saw this at the Dynasty instead of a more upscale theater.From what we had heard, it wasn't worth the trip to Elements.

Or even Olympian City.Frankly, I'd have gone upscale simply because it was a big sword-and-soldier kind of movie. But the consensus held that this film was going to be a stinker, and that because of the plot, cast and other things, it might as well be called  The Empress and the Warriors II.Seriously, is it just me or do the outfits in Mulan look like they were...re-wardrobed ?

Naturally, my expectations for this film were very, very low.

I was heartbroken to watch the potential awesomeness that is  Ti Lung as Guan Yu get wasted in Three Kingdoms in favor of seeing Maggie Q get her zither in a tither.

Not a euphemism, but close.

The Warlordswas fun, but Takeshi Kaneshiro chewed more scenery than any Japanese actor since Godzilla.

I really enjoyed A Battle of Witsup to the point at which the emperor, for no good reason, sudddenly came out of his alcoholic coma and fired up the requisite court intrigue subplot...

So the historical Chinese epic has, of late, been less than impressive.

Gong Li's cleavage in Curse of the Golden Flower is a notable exception; everytime she (it) appeared onscreen, a chorus of male "Waaaaaahhhhhh"s could be heard.

All of this played on my mind as I sat down to watch Mulan. I wasn't expecting much, and at the very least we were in the Dynasty, so if it started sucking, I could voice my objections loudly and clearly.

I am glad that I turned out to be pretty wrong. I'm not saying it's a classic. But it was better than I expected, and I enjoyed it.

Mulan is played by veteran actress Vicky Zhao, who does a good job with her role. Vicky Wow. I'd never seen that photo before writing this blog entry. But I like it. I'd tell you how much, and exactly how, I like it, but it would make you very uncomfortable.

She manages to be convincing at pretty much all facets of her role except the action scenes, but that's not totally her fault. She's not a former wushu practitioner, and the other reason was beyond her control; see below.

Still, I felt she did a good job conveying the brutality of war and very natural human reactions to it. I enjoyed the way her character see-sawed between anger and regret. I also enjoyed the battle scenes, though the following image was not, as I recall, even in the film:

Most soldiers are happy to get some head.The biggest shortcoming of the film was its appalling editing. I don't mean that it lacked style or verve.

I mean it was rotten.

It rendered some scenes incomprehensible, and rendered others ridiculous. It ruined the flow of the narrative and occasionally made jokes where they weren't supposed to be any.

It looked at times like it had been edited byLucyChing Man Fai.

That statement may be unfair, but only to Lucy.

The narrative itself, and the telling of it, are also nothing to scream about. Opportunities for dramatic tension are flubbed, cheap laughs are sought, and pathos is occasionally confused with overacting.

But we're used to that.

The promotional considerations for this film are... noteworthy.

I found this poster while looking for images for this entry. I'll assume its for the foreign audience, given the absence of Chinese characters other than the title. It says a lot, I think, about marketing to the West. It also says a lot for the idea that advertising people are, by and large, mentally f@#$ing retarded:The other bit of creepiness in Mulan is evident from the film's very opening. Given the usual necessities of contractual exploitation, the Russian singer Vitas, who is signed to some conglomerate involved in the production of Mulan, has a small role.

He's apparently popular in China:

"Come get some of this, China..."Of course, Vanilla Ice and Buicks are popular in China. Vitas literally presents the opening scene in a bit of shameless exploitation that I found cringe-inducing for reasons amply illustrated by this photo:"Can I touch you in the bad place?"

What's worse is that his character gets reduced, by the climax of the film, to a horribly stereotypical bitchy, vengeful queen.  The whole concept is so crass and exploitative that I wanted nothing more than to see this character eaten by wolves.

But on average, I have to say that I likedMulan/花木蘭. It entertained me, and I found myself being sympathetic to the main character.

And that was before I saw her navel.

I enjoyed the film, and I'd recommend it to people. Go see it on a big screen. It's nice to look at, and its fun.Except for that Ivan Bityakokoff character.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dynasty EpilogueThe posters at the Dynasty are often on the cheap side. It usually looks like they get very small promo images and just blow them up about 30x more than they should be. Ever take a 9k image and whack it up 500%? That's what the posters look like.

But they've reached a new low. The poster for Bodyguards and Assassins is so over-enlarged that it is blurry beyond recognition. Sorry for the lousy phone photos, but you can see that the major characters are unrecognizable.Amazingly, Donnie Yen overactsevenin an out-of-focus still image. Note the contrast between the writing and the image. Ouch.Viva laDinastía!