Movie Review: Princess And Seven Kungfu Masters/笑功震武林

  Finally a movie to look forward to.

I love Wong Jing. He’s not an artist, he’s a businessman.

I’ve explained my admiration many times before, so I won’t belabor the point.

I saw Princess And Seven Kungfu Masters/笑功震武林 (sic) at the Dynasty with a truncated version of the Gang of Film.

It’s an ensemble film telling the story of the daughter (played by Kimmy Tong) of a warlord (Sammo Hung) who is helped by a number of unlikely martial arts heroes.

“I amnot Rainie Yang’s stunt double!”

These ‘retired’ (aren’t they always?) masters live in peace and anonymity in a small village, trying to leave behind them the strains and tensions of the martial world.

You know that sh*t don’t last.

The seven masters are a surprisingly broad cross-section of Hong Kong cinema, representing different eras.

Don’t you feel safe?

Soon enough the Princess shows up, and close behind her are the forces of evil… aka the Japanese.

Yawn.

Actually, not yawn, because the Japanese antagonist is played by the Queen of Sexy Jo Kuk Cho Lam, whom I was very happy to see back on the big screen. 

Suddenly I’m amenable to marriage again.

Rose Chan puts in an interesting (if flat) performance as one of the Princess’ caretakers .

 ”…and the TVB Song of the Year award goes to…”

But Rose has a remarkable sense of humor and indulgence, taking part in a parody of her sexual assault that occurred during filming of  Princess And Seven Kungfu Masters/笑功震武林:

I sh*t you not.

There’s a remarkable amount of cross dressing going on for at least three more of the actors in Princess And Seven Kungfu Masters/笑功震武林:

And I thought he was ugly as a man.

I must be getting used to Wong Cho Lam, because he didn’t infuriate me with his fey metrosectional (sic) schtick.

He didn’t entertain me either, but he hasn’t done that since he serially got the sh*t kicked out of him in that CNY movie a few years ago.

“Ido look like Maggie Cheung! I do!”

I wish Ronald Cheng was in more movies, because he’s funny and he does entertain me.

If he ever made a movie where he kills Wong Cho Lam (the actor, not a character), I’d love him forever.

Yes, she’s cross-dressing; I’m positive Natalie Meng’s got a d*ck.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Natalie Meng Yao.

Her shoulders are so f@#$ing broad we could swap shirts.

She’s at least self-aware enough of her corporeal enormity (!) that she doesn’t try to pass herself off as some lilting post-pubescent ingenue who inspires only rage.

Yeah, Charlene, I’m talking to you.

It was fun to watch her essay a role as a brothel madam, because somehow ‘diesel’ is not generally a positive attribute for horizontal refreshment industry workers.

From what I’ve read.

She wearsactual fishnets. That’s a big b*tch.

Amidst all this gender ambiguity is a series of relationships, attempted and otherwise.

Sadly, Hong Kong veteran Yuen Wah got the short straw when drawing for romantic partners.

Him: “I stunt-doubled Bruce Lee.” Her: “I doubled China.” 

These pairings are fun (at times) and provide more than a few laughs, some unintentional.

For example, these healthy dollops of misunderstandings and wrong assumptions mean that soon enough you end up in that frightening place where Eric Tsang does onscreen kissing:

And unfortunately he’s not just kissing women:

I always knew Wong Cho Lam was… 

The Princess think’s that Rose Chan’s character (who admittedly has short hair and says her name is Tony) is not just a man, but the man of her dreams.

She likes her almost as much as Wong Cho Lam likes… her.

Masticate on it.

Ronald Cheng has a thing for Xie Na, a Mainland scene-chewer who nevertheless manages to be cute enough (at times).

The sets were frequently destroyed during filming until muzzles were found.

Unfortunately, Xie’s older sister, played by Sandra ‘Bruce’ Ng, attempts to c*ck-block the relationship.

****

With her own c*ck.

Philip Ng does the action choreography and plays a small role. He deserves commendation if only because he didn’t have a cast of martial artists to work with.

See what I mean?

And for looking a hell of a lot better in a white suit than I ever could:

He always wanted to meet Rainie Yang, and now he has a photo with her.

Princess And Seven Kungfu Masters/笑功震武林 is  by no means great cinema. But it’s fun, entertaining, and it made me laugh quite a few times. 

These days, that is enough. 

It has to be.