Movie Review(s): HKIFF 2009

First, let me give a HUGE thank-you to the Movie Night folks in general and to Kevin akaThe Golden Rock in particular.

Without their encouragement and help, I'd have spent another year NOT going to the HKIFF, one of the reasons I ostensibly MOVED here...

Kevin booked the tickets for me, and it turns out that all my viewings were things he wanted to see too. He was kind enough to put up with me for a lot of evenings in which he had a fair share of my foibles foisted on him.

No, that's not a euphemism.

I bought dinner most of the time since I have a job and he's a student.

Besides, he can read the menus, so I ate in places I otherwise wouldn't be able to.

I am really glad I had someone to watch the movies with. Lord knows he saw a lot more than me!

Digression: at 24, seeing 28 movies is doable; Kevin is a viewing (and occasionally sleeping) machine. At 42, 8 is a lot of work. I have thoroughly enjoyed the festival, but I will enjoynot watching a movie every night and eating at home too...

So here's my schedule/reviews:

3/26 Thurs: Peking Opera Blues - 1:30 Space Museum

Gotta love Tsui Hark on a (vaguely) big screen. The movement and color are breathtaking, even on a print that was not pristine. It makes it hard to realize that the man who directed this now gives us films that suck huge mouthfuls of Red bunghole like Missing and All About Women. PekingOpera Blues is a frenetic, gorgeous romp across genres , history, and logic, and the only reason it makes any narrative sense is because it was directed by the same lunatic who gave us Zu: Warriors...

3/26 Thurs: Echo of Silence - 5:15 Times Square

A quiet, pensive film about... I'm not sure. But Hokkaido in winter reminded me of New England, and it was nice to see such a well-directed and acted film. Even though it was shot on video, it looked nice, and some of the camera work was very interesting. I enjoyed the characters and the story, though I found the end a turn I wouldn't have taken. Still, a film I was very glad I saw.

Oh, and Saki Takaoka is gorgeous. I want to nibble the bridge of that magnificent proboscis.

3/30 Monday: Love Exposure - 2:45 Science Museum

A four-hour Japanese movie about Catholicism and up-skirt photography.

What else can I say?

What else could you want?

What else do you need?

How about lesbian scenes, cross-dressing, social commentary, arterial sprays, cults, and a company called Bukkake-Sha?

The time flies by, and it is an incredibly fascinating film. It's by turns hilarious, terrifying, sweet and a deliciously guilty pleasure. One of the few films that you can say is truly unforgettable.

3/30 Monday: Shinjuku Incident - 9:30  Cultural Center

I only wish this film were forgettable. Jackie made this one with the Big Red Audience in mind, then refused to cut the violence so it was not allowed into the market it was made for.

Instead, the rest of the planet gets to revel in its Sinophilic, Nippon-phobic garbage. Apparently murderous, thieving, swindling, dope-peddling illegal immigrants are still better than Japanese and Taiwanese people by virtue (?) of their being Chinese.

Nice touch bringing up the Bushido code, by the way. Too bad it's beenutterly f@#$ing irrelevant since the end of WWII.

It's always good to bash Japan, even when you're filming a movie there. After all, Japan killed 20 million Chinese people in WW2. Which is roughly HALF OR LESS THAN HALF (depending on whose estimate you use) of the Chinese people lost during Mao's regime. All power flows from the barrel of a gun pressed behind the People's ear, apparently. How now, old Mao?

Where was I? Ahhh, yes, the film Shinjuku Incident.

Which, when I first heard the title, made me paranoid that I had been filmed surreptitiously during my Christmas for Sinners tour of Japan...

In the film, Daniel Wu sports twoof the worst haircuts I've ever seen, and looks like a gay vampire for half the film. Oh, and that violence? Looks like the Shaw Brothers did the FX.Word is that Derek Yee was very much not happy on set or with the final project.

That makes two of us.

Oh, and a special shout-out to Wong Kar Wai, who was late to a film/ceremony in his honor that took place before the screening of Shinjuku Incident. Which means that we all had to wait around in line longer too:感謝，注水法 Digression: Irrigation law???

3/31 Tuesday: Night and Fog - 9:45 Cultural Center

They could have made Ike Turner a consultant for this film. Heavy and significant and very well-filmed, it is a very sad story that gives us an all-too-rare glimpse into the lives of people that this city studiously ignores. Like Besieged Cityand The Way We Are, you ought to see these films. Rarely does Hong Kong cinema make people so human. And luckliy it is rare that humans are this vicious, brutal, and reprehensible.

4/1 Thursday: JCVD- 7:15 The Grand

How could I resist a chance to have Ze Muscles from Brusselsmake my ass vibrate? The Grand in Elements has those vibrating seats that blur the line between action movies and pornography.

This French film is a hoot. It's nice to see Van Damme act seriously in a film while not taking himself seriously in the same film.

And while I may hate to admit it, he canact. Of course, speaking in his mother tongue doubtless helps. Of particular worthiness is a 6-minute monologue that is unlike anything you've ever seen or heard him do.

If/when this makes DVD, watch it. You will find a whole new respect for someone that doesn't get much of it.

4/3 Friday: The Good, the Bad, the Weird - 9:30 Cultural Center

Ever feel like you forgot why you love movies?

As someone who watches a lot of recent HK films, I sometimes have.

Ever been reminded why you loves movies by part of a movie?

Like the part in The Longest Summer when Sam Lee throws a girl off the tram.

From the upper deck.

Ever been constantly reminded for 120 consecutive minutes?

If you were in the Cultural Center last night, you sure as f@#$ were.

I wanted to buy this movie a beer.

With a stripper on it.

It was so much fun that I'd have stayed up all night watching it repeatedly.

The movie. Not the beer.

Imagine Raiders of the Lost Ark on Korean crack.

Hell, imagine a good Indiana Jones movie (try... for me).

Then make it three times better and about ten times more visually exciting.

This is the best Indiana Jones film Hollywood could never make.

Especially not for US$17 million, which is what it cost.

This movie was so f@#$ing great that I can't even really describe it. It mashes together so many genres and influences and homages and does it so fast and so often that you just have to let it all wash over you and go along for the ride.

And it's a hell of an exciting and entertaining ride.

How good is this movie? How much does this movie kick other movies' asses?

Let me put it this way: This film is as good as Quentin Plagiarino thinks his movies are.

And we know he's no fount of humility, right?

This movie is that good. It admirably succeeds at what The QP Doll attempts(and fails)  to do; recycle and reinvigorate while at the same time being innovative.

This movie is completely lovable, and not just for reminding you of so many other movies/genres you love.

Imagine all the best traits of all your ex-girlfriends contained in one woman who's as pretty or prettier than all of them. Then add a sleeve of tattoos to one arm (hey, it's my f@#$ing blog). Will you marry me?

The Good, the Bad, the Weird is far and away one of the greatest action films of the last 20 years. Hollywood can only watch and weep. It's been a long time since they made a movie this good.

They could never make one this good this cheap.

And for that (and other reasons) I say "F@#$ 'em!"**** There are a couple of 'Also Saw' films that are not part of HKIFF but are in commercial release here in HK. I caught these on 'off' days to stay limber...

Slumdog Millionaire - So much hype about this film, and it deserves 90% of it. Visually intriguing, well-acted (considering the age of the majority of the actors), and entertaining, it loses points (for me) because of the vague whiff of slumming on the part of the filmmakers. I would like to see what this film would be like with an Indian director and crew. I'm not saying it would be better, just different. And I think I'd like it more. But the dance number at the end was fun.

Super Typhoon - Watch it. Love it. Then get a video camera, 20 gallons of H2O and some model cars and boats and make your own movie. It worked for these guys...

Departures - It's nice to see a film live up to its hype. It's nice to see such a well-made and competently executed movie. It's nice to appreciate a character for her attributes and not her appearance. I wish I had a wife like that. I wish I had friends and coworkers like that. Go see this movie. It deserved the Oscar.

 It deserves better than to be discussed by The Spleen Master.On Tuesday I'll see Torso, but will also go to Japan the same night. So I will write my review when I get there.

While in Japan I will see Crows Zero II. No subtitles, but subtitles in a Takashi Miike film are like, to quote a drill sergeant I once knew, "T*ts on a bull." In other words, pointless.Not sure who I will see in Japan, but if you keep your fingers crossed, I'll keep my legs the same way...