Movie Review: Tales From the Dark 1/李碧華鬼魅系列:迷離夜

An early birthday gift.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDo3yW0ZjqI******The older I get, the more I learn to appreciate what I have rather than gripe about what I don’t. It’s easier, it takes less energy, and I suppose it makes the world a better place.**

Like I give a sh*t about that.

But never mind that nonsense.

Friday night I sat in a cinema in Kowloon Tong. I didn’t watch Tales from the Dark/李碧華鬼魅系列:迷離夜in the Dynasty.

Because it wasn’t showing there.

So I had to go to a better (and more expensive) cinema. The seats are nicer the screens are nicer, and the floors are cleaner.

Not to mention that the audience is larger.

But not better; while no one smoked (as they occasionally do at The ‘Nasty), there was, typically, some f@#$hole on the phone right at the climax of the third story.

Someday I wanna be that important. 

I’m already that much of an inconsiderate, insensitive @sshole.

Tales from the Dark 1/李碧華鬼魅系列:迷離夜  is a trio of ghost stories directed by Simon Yam, Lee Chi Ngai, and Fruit Chan.

Local and supernatural, it’s a now all-too-rare kind of movie in a city that used to produce such films by the dozen.

Remember… no ghosts in China movies. So you won’t see this one north of Sheung Shui.

I’ll never be a part of the local audience (as I am frequently told), but I was nevertheless  very happy to sit in a cinema in Hong Kong watching a Hong Kong ghost movie that was set in Hong Kong.

I moved halfway around the world in search of such experiences, and I feel lucky to have them.

Simon Yam directs himself in ‘Stolen Goods,’ the story of a man whose yearning for a better life leads him to commit crimes against the living and the dead.

“And then I walk in looking cool and…”

Working a series of part-time jobs that are as menial as they are demeaning, Yam’s character descends down the social ladder to the bottom, then continues sinking.

 When she’s your boss, you’re f@#$ed.

He resorts to a form of kidnapping that is both ingenious and unsettling. At times gritty and disturbing, this segment also has humor of both the light and dark variety.

The audience in the cinema responded accordingly.

While I can’t say that it frightened me, it entertained me, and that’s all I ask.

Well, that and Lam Suet spewing food out of his overstuffed mouth.

That’s entertainment.

"A Word in the Palm" is a story about an about-to-retire fortune teller (Tony Leung Kar Fai) whose last customers have more in common than meets the eye.

“They filmed part of PTU in here!”

He teams up with a colleague (Kelly Chen looking remarkably cute in unflattering glasses) to solve the mystery.

I know who she’s thinking of. And where she’d put it.

Leung and Chen play their roles with a lightly comic touch that was a lot of fun.

 ”What are you doing back there?”

The juxtaposition of humor and pathos worked well for me in this segment. What I mean is that I often struggle with bouncing back and forth between the two in local films, but I didn’t struggle here.

The acting is convincing and funny, and I really enjoyed it.

Cherry “一波三折的牙齒” Ngan was convincingly bitchy, though not convincing as a teenager.

It was nice to see Tang Wei’s stunt double get work.

It was nice to see Eileen Tung onscreen again, playing Big Tony’s estranged wife. She was more than convincing as an  adult and an Ice Queen. Which is hard to do when you’re this hot.

Holy sh*t.

This segment of Tales from the Dark 1/李碧華鬼魅系列:迷離夜 gets my nod as the favorite mostly because of what may be my top Subtitle Moment of 2013: the use of the word douche as a pejorative term.

‘Jing Zhe’ uses a local cultural landmark as the center of a story about life, death, and vengeance.

I was glad to see a local landmark being used in a movie, and I was very glad to see a movie being so local.

There’s nothing I can say.

Siu Yum Yum plays a ‘villain hitter’ beneath the Canal Road Flyover in Causeway Bay.

The horror… of plastic surgery.

For a fee (naturally), she will punish whoever you want by beating an image with a shoe (it’s much more interesting than I can make it sound).

This segment seemed to combine humor and horror the most, with plenty of laughs as well as violent terror.

The audience responded really well to the segment, laughing in a lot of places and gasping in others.

The biggest laughs went to Lo Hoi-Pang’s scene as a triad leader who shares a name (and similar troubles) with HK’s CE.

“F@#$ing Scholarism…”

Such topical, political humor is always a good way to connect with the local audience, and it works well here.

Dada Chan plays an obviously troubled young woman with a grudge to settle, and this is where the story takes a morbid, violent turn.

Vulgaria 2: Donkeys of the Dead

Candy Hau Woon Ling, always a welcome presence, turns up as a combative pedestrian, making her mark quickly. Who knows how many movies she has left?

Hopefully at least a few more.

Several members of 24 Herbs also make cameo appearances, all of which end in ghastly ways.

  “This isn’t what I meant when I said I wanted 24 Herbs!”

This movie isn’t for everyone. It’s not a straight horror film (nor a gay one), and many of you may be disappointed or at least not scared.

Admittedly, I’m not a good person to decide what’s scary and what isn’t. I can’t remember the last movie that scared me.

Probably  The Allure of Tears.

I wept, I cowered, I puked.

But I found Tales from the Dark 1/李碧華鬼魅系列:迷離夜 a lot of fun and very entertaining, and so on that level I have to say that I really enjoyed it.

I’d encourage you to go see it in a cinema with an audience; it’s fun to hear people respond to the film, and if you’re really lucky your date might lean on you every time the movie gets scary.

I wouldn’t know since I didn’t have a date, but I think you understand my point.