My Ghetto-@ss Neighbor, Vol. 2

Last April, I wrote about how the woman in the adjoining flat likes totalk on the phone. I also wrote about how none of the rest of the people around her like listening to her.

At the time, my windows were open and it was kind of irritating if only because she literally talks all day and all night. At least no one has started shouting at her again, calling her bad names and otherwise entertaining me.

As all of us in Hong Kong know, it's been cold lately. So I've kept my windows closed.

Guess what? It makes little f@#$ing difference in the audibility of my neighbor. I stillhear that voice.

Her window must be open because I swear on my mother's parole board that when she really gets worked up I hear her voice echoing off the other estate towers.

Earlier this week I couldn't sleep (at least partially because of her). until 2:00AM. When I got up at 9:30, she was on the phone. Maybe she napped, maybe she did an all-nighter. Who cares?

I try really hard to be a good neighbor for lots of reasons.

There aren't many gweiloin this estate, or in Tai Wai for that matter, so I try to act right and at least not act like too many of my fellow expats.

It's so bad in Japan that they often make gaijinlive in separate buildings. Not that I blame them, but it is one reason I don't want to move to Japan.

The other reason is that I wouldn't get to livehere.

But never mind.

My point is, I try to be a good neighbor. I like movies where things blow up, and I like music that often sounds like things blowing up. Naturally, both of these media sound better louder than softer. But I make sure I am as quiet as I can be (unless the people upstairs or nearby are doing renovation; then all bets are off).

I'm quickly reaching a point, however, where I am going to have to start playing movies and music loudly just to drown out the woman next door.

As my neighbors already know, she is immune to appeals, cajoling, or insult. She doesn't even get off the phone to answer her critics; she just starts talking about them to the person on the other end of the line.

Who is very probably sitting in a chair in a dark room in Guantanamo Bay with earphones taped to his head as he screams promises of taking whoever wants to go straight up Bin Laden's colon if only they would stop the torture.

If my neighbor is lucky, I'll find some good reason to get out of the house today. Otherwise, she's about to meet Angus Young.He's my favorite Australian afterGrace Huang.