Saturday Night's All Right For Subtitling

Couldn't resist the Elton John reference.

After all, it's the one song of his that doesn't have an emetic effect on me...

But I thought you might like to know how I spent my evening, since I didn't spend tonight OR last night at an AnD event

Dammit.

I spent my evening watching AV. With a friend. A male friend.

Creepy, huh?

Don't worry, it's for work.

I teach Media, Sex, and Violence, and I always want my students to see something interesting.

That's why next week I'll show them my underwear.

I won't be wearing it at the time, don't worry.

I mean, I'll be wearing underwear, just not the underwear I will show my students.

Then again, maybe I won't be wearing it. It's getting warmer these days.

Never mind that revolting tangent...

I show my students the Scarfaceunderwear my mother sent me for Christmas a couple years ago to show how criminality has woven itself into the popular culture. My mother lives in South Florida, where the film took place.

The underwear have a picture of Tony Montana with the M-203 and "Say hello to my little friend!" on them.

Thanks, Mom...

So, as you can see, I enjoy doing weird things in class.

I just enjoy doing weird things even without the class, but I bet you knew that.

Then again, with a title like Media, Sex and Violence, I've got a lot of leeway.

I show them The Untold Story/Human Meat Roast Pork Buns (八仙飯店之人肉叉燒包) too. It's good for them, and I show how you never really see what you think you see.

Though you do see some pretty nasty stuff.

Hey, it's an elective; f@#$ 'em if they can't take a joke.

Jesus wept, where was I???

Oh, yes, watching AV with a guy.

I ran across a rather interesting film called "Last F@#$" which is the swan song of one Ai Himeno. I'm not kidding:They mage a big deal out of it being her last appearance. The kicker is the film's denouement; after having 39 (the cameraman points this out to the still-trembling Ms. Himeno) deposits ceremoniouslydropped upon and within (a number she finds marvelous), she is presented with a large bouquet of roses.

She gives a goodbye speech replete with copious tears and a runny nose, both of which she delicately removes from her face while leaving other effluents undisturbed.

A remarkable degree of professionalism...

She tearfully asks her fans to abuse themselves frequently with her as the inspiration, and hopes she helps them make themselves feel good.

It's just so amazingly weird, and frankly un-erotic, and weird (I know I did)...

I find it oddly compelling because it's actually quite touching (shut up), watching this person become very emotional and thanking everyone, and her co-workers applauding her, and the roses, and the music they use. It's not much different than a lot of tearful goodbyes we've seen from media figures before.

But you can't get around the fact that she's just spent 40 minutes doing what she did, and that her face is still covered with 'not tears' and 'not runny nose stuff.'

I confess, it is a brutal collision of sensibilities that I really like. Because it forces you to think about and cope with your response to it. It teaches you about yourself.

That's why I will show my class; it will make them intellectually uncomfortable and force them to think.

As I see it, that's my job.

So my Japanese friend and I spent the evening subtitling the 12 minutes out of 90 that I will show. I cut out all the 'nasty bits' and we went line-by-line so that my students can learn things.

Such as Ms. Himeno's feelings about the standout roles in her career:

"[This company]  made a lot of 'serious dramas,' and they gave me a lot of roles. I enjoyed all of them, but the most memorable one was a version of [American TV show] 24... I don't know howmany days it took to film that one... I was very into that role. So was everyone else. Our characters all worked hard to solve their problems. Because of this, the sex was very exciting."

And the following exchange:

CM (Cameraman): For your last scene, we want to see you masturbate! AH: You're so blunt!!! CM: You're such a good performer that you can make masturbation erotic. AH: Really??? CM: This is what everyone wants to see. So could you do it a little bit? AH:Just like that, just start??? With my hands? CM:Yeah, start with your hands...150 grand in student loans, and I'm subtitling porn on my own time, and a Saturday night at that.Is that success I smell? Probably not.Not to mention that I have a nagging suspicion one of the three people I know in Japan would somehow be hurt and vaguely jealous that I didn't use one ofher movies for my class. But I may still do so, because they can be educational too...