Sleep Apnea and Other Bedtime Obstructions.

I am spending these two days being tested for sleep apnea. Actually, I spent last night being tested:

If this is what suicide bombers go through, no wonder they hit the switch.

I got wired up like this at 4 in the afternoon, then spent the next six hours just waiting to get sleepy.

With all this sh*t all over me.

The strange part was that if I had inap...Read more

I FOUND IT!!!

I have previously written about my frustration at my inability to find a word that adequately and fairly expresses my displeasure and/or contempt with a certain type of male that is found with alarming frequency here in our fair city.

You know, the guy with the better manicure, wardrobe, and hair than the woman who is inexplicably holding his hand.

I wanted to find a pejorative term that indicts these effete twerps without impugning anyone unnecessarily, and I think I found it.

But first, a little background...

M...Read more

No Love for Dave

This didn't last long:

Gimme a bottle of anything. And a glazed doughnut... To go.

I kind of enjoy the downright assaultive nature of the colors.

I use it as the wallpaper in my phone, because it has consistently made me laugh for 20 years. And that is not easy to do, as some of you well know.

It's one of the enduring (endearing?) images of the 1980s.

It comes f...Read more

Movie Review: Happy Funeral/My Wife is a Gambling Maestro

I saw two movies yesterday.

After the second movie, I saw two cockroaches, too.

Both movies AND THE COCKROACHES were better thanThe Forbidden Kingdom.

Ahhh, that felt good.

Now, on to the matter at hand.

Happy Funeralis an interesting film.

Maybe being a 42 year oldgweilohas something to do with the fact that I found the characters utterly unlikeable, stupid and shallow. I am glad I don't know any real 20-something HK people like that.

But th...Read more

Mahjong World Series 2008, Macau

Yeah, sureI'm gonna pay US$5,000 to get tossed out in the first round...

But I'll probably go watch. It will be the closest thing to a mahjong movie come to life, so how can I resist? I might even see Wong Jing...

I love to play Mahjong, though I am terribly slow, and probably not very good. I am learning to play to win, but also not to lose. I don't play very often, but I take what chances I can get.

I win a few hands, too, which always amuses people here, and sometimes makes them insis...Read more

Movie Review: The Forbidden Kingdom

I really, reallyreallydisliked this movie.

Two of the biggest film stars in the world, and 2of the 3 greatest martial arts film stars in history, and we get...

This?

It was as if Quentin Tarantino's wet dreams had been put on celluloid.

Poorly.

The banal stereotypes, laughably bad dialogue, nonexistent acting and just insulting Orientalism had me cringing the whole time.

It was as if the people that made this hadn't watched a real Chinese movie made after 1982, a poin...Read more

God don't like ugly, and he ain't too fond of stupid, neither

"Those who can do; those who can't, teach." - George Bernard Shaw

"George Bernard Shaw can go fuck himself..." - whitebison66, Ph.D.

Before you get your shorts in a twist, I should tell you that both of my parents think that's very funny. And they're pushing 70.

Besides, I'm not the one ganking Rasputin's look:

Read more

In Fairness to Women and Homosexuals

"He ain't the most masculine fellow in the world..." - Eddie Murphy on Michael Jackson

I'll be the first to admit that the rules of masculinity are highly relative, culturally speaking.

But I am not really trying to get at masculinity. There's something that's been bothering me, and I've been trying to work it out.

In fact, I've been struggling to work it out for some time, since I realize that we have unfortunately and incorrectly impugned groups who don't des...Read more

Why Young People in HK Need to Vote

Ostensibly, it is my job to be an inspiration to young people and to provide a voice of reason and wisdom (ha!).

Then again, I amAmerican.

So I offer my PSA to motivate the youth of Hong Kong to take part in the democratic process.

Hey Hong Kong, do you want democracy or not? Pre-emptively deporting protesters is NOT DEMOCRATIC. I thought you wanted freedom ...Read more

I Am Inappropriately Excited About This

Wong Jing is one of my favorite directors.

Nick Cheung is one of my favorite actors.

I'm too afraid of Meng Yao to criticize her.

If she had the Kelly Chen role in An Empress and the Warriors, no one would laugh. She's diesel. But I mean that in a good way. Really.

And I'm not just saying ...Read more