Disappointments, Faith, Change and Tomorrow

My luck fuckin' changed. My life is about to change too. I have never felt such strong synchronicity in every event in a day...linked in such precision and such direct signs from God telling me that something is about to jump off.If you ever read my writings, you notice a certain insecurity and an irritating sense of no-confidence that inhibits me from delivering my best. If you have ever read my writings, you may know that I'm the cat who does what he do very well. and that's that. no need to brag more or not give myself the credit for the hard work i put in to be able to be still doin' this at 30.But the point is- my luck done changed. a set of intentions, prayers, or what you would like to call out that I put out on a blank page with some crayons is manifesting in great coincidences lately. It was that "if I got this, I'm good to go" prayer. But I had faith. And I said "fuck it with this bullshit luck and problems, i've met too many muthafuckas who have used, cheated, etc  me...and too many good ass cats to be dealin with this bullshit.Truth is- the turning point was I worked on a film called Sing To The Dawn last year. Not just me, but a couple other cats who I used to work with. But I knew what I wanted to do with the film...I knew how to present it, how to sell my idea and how to make them bite. But the bigger story is, throughout this process of not getting paid by a certain production house and almost running bankrupt, then being coaxed into a year of litigation which i had never believed in and believe it is the reason why me and my partners never made any money, and a lot more bullshit in between all this...the name on the poster does not have the man that wrote the song you are going to remember most in the movie. But legal has its legal and I believe good legal and good advisors don't let you fall. I have decided that I will take control of my own career and direction and people who would love to work with me can choose from an option of areas in my work and enjoy them the way most of my boys enjoy working with me.My story is too long and of no interest to you guys. I work behind the scenes to make sure things sound beautiful. In some sick way, it's the voyeurism aspect of my creation, being able to watch it from afar that turns me on. It makes me feen for it. The bottomline is...having faced the reality of something that I had put hope in for a year....the one that came true was what I wanted...a home, a stable place to build my life here in Taipei. And it's about to go down in some many miraculous ways. I was greatly disappointed in people I trusted. I do not blame them but I believe in being mature about the disappointed and personally accepting that things are going to change from here. Maybe things will go better for all of us, maybe it'll bring greater speed to achieving all our individual goals. Heaven has a plan and it will happen. For now, I am tucked into a bed. A real one. Not a loft with a mattress. A bed..in a room, with nothing but a bed and a lamp. zen-ed out like a muthafucka and going to bed.Hello, Tomorrow, you're finally here. Glad you made it. It's been a long time coming...did you bring that girlfriend i've been asking for..?Peace..