just havin' fun

i've been home for two days now. the walls have began to fade into the floor. i've dug through the drawers hoping to find a tab or two to facilitate this cruel circus i have been trapped into. i guess the idea to remain in taipei over the holidays did not quite pan out the way i had hoped. i still have new year's eve to worry about. but never mind, there will always be shanghai. and that's what it is. whatever that meant.of course i am doodling at home on the microphone and on the computer. my mind is slow and i wonder if coming down from the adrenalin of 2008 is really this...depressing. i am a naturally positive person and this depressive blur is not really my best friend right now.i have written a couple more songs. i don't even know what will happen to them. i've been blaming publishers for not selling enough but the truth is, i realized it was more of my problem here- i write too many damn songs. maybe i should stop for awhile. find a hobby. stamps? do people do that anymore? i mean collecting digital porn is probably a legitimate hobby these days. pure adrenalin comes when your heart is ready for a challenge. for the timid person i always knew of myself, i have to say i have some balls to be operating like this. this is absolutely awesome. tomorrow is sunday. the day after that is when i start preparing for the time of my life.it'll be shiny lights, big tunes, brass sections, girls in the most beautiful dresses ever sewed and i'm pretty sure if we're lucky, there'll be someone special waiting too...need to watch television.