Past and Future but I am now here in the Present

Believe it or not, I actually went back and read every single blog that I had written since I first joined A.N.D. It's been almost 3 years. I think I joined A.N.D around end of December 2007. Jesus, I could really write. I mean my blogs were L-O-N-G and there are 47 pages of them. haha.... I don't tend to write so much anymore. I try to talk more now... ^_^. In one of the earliest blogs, I found myself talking about being frustrated after shooting "In Love With The Dead" and his description of me was: " 妳忠於自己,了解自己,為理想不惜一切,有學習成長,有勇氣,有頭腦,有成功的慾望,及堅持的毅力"                " you are focused and you understand yourself; for your dreams, you'd sacrifice anything and everything; learned to be more mature and you have courage; you are intelligent; you have the passion to succeed, and the resilience to pursue." A lot had happened since. Actually too much had happened this year. haha....  Today, 3 years later... I know I have changed a lot. Indeed I have but that description still fit exactly the same way. Or maybe... I should say: I see myself being even more so now than I have ever been before. Saw this from my previous blog. And... I'd like to see if my answer will actually be different. Well... the red is my new answer. 

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? what do you mean? I am always serious in all my relationships. It's just that it's sad sometimes no matter how serious u were, they were doomed to fail. YES! (see...I know that I am a lot more straightforward in my answers. I don't beat around the bush anymore. 02) What was your dream growing up? a bio-chemist scientist that invent AIDS vaccines. I have had different dreams but whatever my dreams were, I never doubted I'd fail at it. Despite the current situation that I am in today. Which is why I have felt pretty.... unsuccessful at fulfilling that "notion". haha...03) What talent do you wish you had? talent? hm.. singing.. my mum is so good at it. Looking and appreciating myself for what I AM/CAN/HAVE and not what I ain't/can't/haven't. 04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? Water. Depending on whether you asked before you bought me one. Coz if you asked, maybe water. If you didn't, I'll guess something sweet (juice/tea) or alcoholic depending on where we are. 05) Favorite vegetable? I love vegs... but i am not sure which are my fav. I know I dun eat potatoes that much though.mushrooms! 06) What was the last book you read?The path way to Love Reiki07) What zodiac sign are you?Libra 08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.piercing, ears.09) Worst Habit?self indulgence, over-eating, procrastinating messiness, late night sleeps, running last minutes. 10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?depending who you are. if you are my friend, of coz. example, pattrick, etchy, sean, pokedpenguin, xu xuActually, I will. 11) What is your favorite sport? I dun play sports.. hahahaha... I suck at them. But I like rock climbing and diving.I hate exercising. Maybe Reiki. 12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? very pessimistic but can be hopelessly optimistic too.  inquisitive and pessimistic. 13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? chat. again, depending who you are. unless you are a crazy pervert, I'll be more than happy to chat the time away. Even if you are,.... as long as you stay away from me, I am happy to chat. grab my phone, call 999 (sometimes it doesn't work), press operator button on the lift and meditate while waiting. 14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? why would I want to remember that? Can I wonder about the best things that are waiting ahead instead? 15) Tell me one weird fact about you. I can tell myself to stop having phobia at things. I mean I can decide. Like when I told myself that I decided to stop being afraid of height.The more I experience life, the better an actor I am. 16) Do you have any pets? YES! dead or alive? living ones, Xu Xu, Guai2, Ching Ling and TomyYup. hamster and a dog in Jakarta. 17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? depending again on who you are, but I can be quite hostile sometimes. I might let you stand at the door till I get a good explanations as to why you are standing at my door. If you know where I live, can I assume you are a close friend? then I'll probably be thrilled? haha.... 18) What was your first impression of me? how about you tell me your first impression of me. as.. I am writing this to no body but readable by everybody. so everybody... or anybody would you tell me what your first impression on me was?I'll talk about other's impression on me before: cold and distant. haha....  NOW:hot19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? stupid. oops did I say that? Sorry... I saw too many clown horror movies and too many real clowns to be afraid of them let alone adore them. Funny!20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I love the way I am, but I'd change a lot things just to keep my mum from nagging at me. For example, my height. Duhh... didn't you give birth to me? why are you complaining????Does it have to be only 1? Can there be more? I want my longer hair back, farer skin, smaller pores. haha.... yea... maybe just slightly taller. hahaha... ow and bigger boobs (I kinda lost them) and leaner thighs. 21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? both. Coz you can't really separate the good from the bad, what is good? and what is bad? they are both YOU!crime. Crime is fun! haha... I have always been a rebellious person. :P 22) What color eyes do you have? Brown.  Dark brown now... hm... I wonder why. they're almost black now. It used to be black when I was a kid then they kinda lightened up and now they're dark again. 23) Ever been arrested?Not so far.. nope.24) Bottle or can soda? neither. can. 25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?depending on what currency it is in.spend it? haha.... 27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?now or before? now? in front of Xu Xu's cage and the cinema. home. 28) Do you believe in ghosts? Yes, mam!YUP! 29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? housekeeping, watching discovery channel while playing with Xu Xu and Guai Guai, o.. I  DO love blogging on AliveNOT Dead a lot now... even when I am busy. yea... but mostly playing with Xu Xu and going on AND.update my facebook status (recently) haha... 30) Do you swear a lot? Sometimes, but instead of swearing $^&^%$^&() I would say "I really need to swear!!!!"YUP! I do now. Too much maybe. 31) Biggest pet peeve? what's a peeve?? Am I asking stupid question? Like teachers used to say, there's no such thing as a stupid question but there are stupid people too ignorant to ask questions. Thanks to Justice, now I know what a pet peeve is. Ok, things that annoy me easily... hm... I can't stand noise pollution. I dun mind when people are playing and joking around in crazy voice volume coz hey, life is fun. What annoys me is when people talk in crazy voice volume even at normal conditions as it scares the life outta me, plus I hate people persistently asking me questions, that annoys me. IT REALLY DOES. (usually my aunties do that a lot... and you just wanna..... grrrr.... ok take a deep breath). Sometimes when I am too agitated.... I'd say something like this with a very soft tone "Do you mind allowing me some  quiet moments?" . Ouch it hurts, I know...but ..... OH MY GOD! I am going nuts. After crossing the bridges of life for over 30-40 years or so don't some just understand that If I think it's appropriate or I feel like sharing, I will initiate it but when I don't, "stop pushing me!" That's more like nosing around my business. Also, I get annoyed when people dun control their temper around me. I know IQ is important but so is EQ. Dun just blast with little things. It gives the ????????? on my head ( but here is a catch, i tend to be more sensitive to family members, so, I find friends less annoying when they explode).When people tell lies and when people don't do what they say they'll do and no explanation to it whatsoever. Even more so, when they don't admit their mistakes. I hate that. What's so hard with admitting a wrongdoing?32) In one word, how would you describe yourself? adorable.pushy!!!!33) Do you believe/appreciate romance? I used to believe in romance but tend to appreciate it more now. Am I getting old? I think I believe in it and am learning to appreciate it. 34) Favourite and least favourite food?Fav food.. too many too mention, least fav... greasy food.fav food: mushroom. Least fav food: FAT tissues/oil. 35) Do you believe in God?YES SIR!YES!