Reflection part 2. The Deeper wound

HEALING TAKES COURAGE.

Fear and anger exist outside ourselves, these negativities host on our ego. To counteract this we would need compassion, an emotion never felt in isolation. why is compassion an act of love? Compassion drives us to help, often means we would experience pain directly together. Think of the medical staffs during H5N1 outbreak few years ago or the fire figther at NY WTC rubble in 2001.

In the face of tragedy, like the global economy crisis or natural disasters (Shi Chuan) or terrorist attracks (9/11), the easy emotion is anger but it is still not enough to release the deeper wounding.

As I grow up I find it harder to ease myself from what I fear. The anxiety refuses to leave after arriving and my thinking shuts down. I often find myself dwelling and lost in the messy clutter of thoughts and fears, engtangled like messy tapes pulled out of video cassetts.

Facing tragedies, different stages of reactions will appear starting from numbness (too much to absorb at one time), vulnerability (no effective deffence against fear), panic, anger (to feel in control again and help set a visible enemy), anxiety (not sure what to fear but  just are restless and scared for no apparent reason), and depression which is often linked to guilt. While anxiety rises from memory, depression is human's final defense against fear, where the mind runs for cover and shuts down to minimal, providing just enough for survival.  Depression is pain cast upon self, for failing to do things that others manage to do. Depressed people see themselves as happy occasion's wrecker.

In healing, energy is more important than the accompanying thoughts. Have you ever noticed your pumping heartbeat and your blood pressure rising up as blood seemingly ready to burst out of your pores on your face even after you are "sure" you have convinced yourself enough that you are OK with whatever just ticked your nerves? I have. Have you ever felt angry, bitter or gloomy at times and you can't point out why as you are so sure that you have forgiven, forgotten whatever that had happened? I have. If any of your answers is yes, your experience is due to energy from the negative thoughts/experiences inside you regardless the existence of thoughts.

There are many ways to deal with it. Have you seen church's service for outcasting demons/hatred and the like? It's basically a similar method to what I am going to share with you so I'll bracket the general church practice.  

1. Deep/relaxed breathing. Sometimes to get completely relaxed is hard for city people but try. (Praise & worship)

2. Listening. Listen to yourself, be open to feel where the energy is coming from. You might see memories, images, and your fear will be met and release is made easier. (Touched by Holy Spirit)

3. Move. Trapped energy is frozen. Moving or running helps to release the superficial tension. Deeper energies maybe reflected through physical actions like trembling, shaking, stomping, etc depending on what you feel. It's natural, so do not be afraid. Just let yourself go. (initial manifestation).

4. Make sounds. Words are too weak for the intensity of buried feelings. Anguish often prefers to scream, shout, groan, moan, sometimes even to choke with sobbings. Don't force them but let them flow naturally. (Greater manifestation might include vomitting - it  happens when deep intense emotions were denied and buried for too long).

1. Start more gently by toning. Feel your bodily sensation and respond to it through toning, let the energy carry the tone.Tones may go high (tones from grief-whailing), low, sobbing (like a baby), or shriek (response from a blow). These belong in your arsenal against fear and involve your body as well as the emotional centers in the brain, tones have a powerful ability to locate distress, express it and carry it away. (Give-thanks).

ANOTHER Crucial element to release fear is TRUST ! OFFER AND ACCEPTANCE: You are offered the promise of safety and YOU can accept it. Both parts are important.