Reflection part 3a. The Deeper Wound

You must FIRST trust yourself. What you need to develope here is A HEALING ATTITUDE! prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /

Trapped energies get stronger as repressed (imagine air in a balloon. Press a balloon enough and it'd blow. WHY? pressure in the baloon increases! ok... now I know why I felt so much pressure since young, not because the problems are big on their own but I was experiencing more pressure than I should had by repressing it). Conventional (repressive) Vs Modern (expressive) ways to deal with problems? While conventional methods may create stronger-oppresive/bitter-harsh/introvert mentality, modern methods may bring forth free-flowing/rebellious/emotion reliant/weaker mentality. Both methods have their pros and cons. Nevertheless, true with both methods is cycle of denial and suffering has to be broken before YOU ~ explode. 

Each positive belief reverses a negative one. Say to yourself:

-Capability:personal history and past doesn't matter. Doesn't matter how long I have been a certain way (hurting/hateful/anxious/outrageous and so forth) I CAN CHANGE!

Wantingto do something is different from having the capability to do something. Too often in life we see these scenarios taking place. Some people have the capability but they hardly take action because there is a lack of "want/will" or they fear change. There are others who seek and want to take action but they do not think/believe/see they can. Being told that you can is totally different from self believing that you can.

To me personally everything is relative. I am the type of person who might probably volunteer for drug trials; that often is how much I want to change only too often to find myself on a different course. Sometimes I was so convinced that I could not change to the extent that I did things to prove/ convince/ reinstate to myself that my belief (what I often named as "facts" - that things fail) was justifiable.

-Attention:Perhaps not enough people noticed my pain/took it seriously but I HAVE and that is enough.

"Who understand me? No one knows! No one listens!"

Have you ever felt less upset when you have your friends accompanying you when scolded in class? Have you giggled with your brother while being punished together by your mum? It was so because you did not think of it as your pain. It is painful to suffer but it is often more painful to suffer alone. Isolation is the primary source of pain.

What if the pain that seems to be yours is really not yours?~ever thought of this?

pain doesn't make me alive, it shuts down countless posibilities by blocking them away from my life.

-Right:I deserve to be healed, forgiven, and I deserve a better life.

This does mean you go and demand your friends/family/employer to act/treat you a certain way. On the other hand, this is you speaking to yourself to forgive "YOU".

-Needs for Miracles/salvation?I do not need Rescuing; I need help.

There is always someone willing to help. It really is not that hard/impossible. To change for the better would not require the sea to be split in  half or a fall of "red-rain" (chinese expression). The question is are you willing to see or are you stuck with "your" personal perception? Are you giving yourself another good excuse?

.... to be continued