STALKER!

Since early this year I have encountered a disturbing phenomena. It has disturbed my mind to an extent I could not describe. I agree that I am sensitive as I do care too much what people say/think of me. I tried handling it delicately but when my last resort failed, I sent out strong firm signal that I felt my personal space and life harrassed and violated. HOWEVER, it just is not seemed enough to discourage him to stay away!!!! I totally feel I am STALKED!!!!Help!

He was a friend I knew from a course I used to take. We used to hang out coz we were in the same class. I sincerely thought of him as a good friend or even a best friend maybe as we shared the same passion: ACTING and philosophy (or so I thought - before he revealed he reads the books I read to get into my mind - sounds spooky!!!). He started acting funny on me.My family was very conservative, for example fowl words are completely crossed in my family. Due to my upbringing I was taught to be polite  at all times and to do so even when*guys cross their lines with indescency. Unfortunately my politeness was accused for being selfish and inconsiderate. He  questioned extensively as to why I claimed to be grateful to his voluntary effort doing things I did not request him doing like sending me edited scenes from movies or supporting messages on my work but resisted to be emotionally and romantically involved with him. He said he felt sorry for my friends who would probably had me saying to them "you are so kind" after them taking a bullet for me as then only to be left behind. At first, despite feeling *insulted and crossed, I endeavoured to make him see his misled understandings. He would not stop harrassing me, the only thing he refrained from doing was calling me names which did not make me feel any better as his accusations were excessively mean. He accused me of using him for example. HOW? WHEN? WHERE? I looked into my own conscious and - HELL,NO! I DID NOT DO THAT!

I chose to keep upsetting myself by trying to make him see what is really there because I felt bad enough if I have to TELL a friend OFF. After months of harassments and constant assault I really had enough.  Enough is enough. I tried being harsh and crude. It still did not discourage him. JESUS I have tried from being nice to being so harsh, saying things I never thought I was capable of saying to someone I know before. Imagine this: He called me up one evening telling me he was in the area. He claimed to be having dinner with his aunt. Taking his words for a fact, I speak myself into believing he was there for dinner with his aunt. I established the understanding that I WAS to stay home that night with NO intention of going out. He went on saying he'd call me. I GAVE AN OBVIOUS HINT that  I WOULD NOT be picking up anymore of his calls that night. He DID NOT call that night. I thought "Great! He got my message.".  However, the next few days he accused me of letting him wait for me for nothing and that I was so selfish and so on for I did not see his kindness for trying to give me a surprise by showing up around the area, that I stood  him up and thus he stayed in the area till real late.

"WHAT THE???"

This guy just would not stop sending me disturbing messages, emails, and so on accusing me, trying to ignite in me guilt and shame. I am unspeakably distressed. He asked me why I couldn't see that all he wanted was to love and support me, to be there for me, to embrace and to love me. He claimed that I resisted, AVOIDED confronting my fear for accepting his love. Again, if anything to come up on my mind when I heard this was:

"WHAT THE???????"

SOMETHING IS SOOOOO WRONG WITH HIS MIND! How do I know?

Read this: "When you avoid me, you ran in a cycle of avoidance, you enr oll avoidance, you will have people in life to avoidyou."

GOD, I AM GOING CRAZY!!!!! Really is it wrong being nice and friendly to people? OK! MAYBE I WAS WRONG! I SOON SET THINGS STRAIGHT THOUGH! IF being compassionate and friendly is wrong then PLEASE PLEASE forgive me! I really could not stand this anymore.

Will he hurt me the way he did if he is really a friend? OK! you may argue he didn't know he is hurting me by all that he did but he should know because I soon TOLD HIM that he was hurting me but he ignored the acknowledgement.

I know he will be reading this blog as well!